We are an incredibly lazy bunch, are we not? We keep the TV remote within arm’s length of the recliner. We drive climate-controlled, fully equipped, automatic everything cars. We don’t climb stairs, we take the elevator. Myself included.
We don’t even go to the trouble of composing a simple, declarative email. Instead we send text messages by the trillions and gather in chat rooms to talk in abbreviated code: btw, lmao, ttfn. Where’s the originality when a text says the same thing, in the same way as a zillion other texts?
On rare occasions, we’ll park ourselves in front of the computer and pound out an email. Maybe. Much more often, though, we communicate by forwarding. That way, we don’t have to compose an email, we just forward one from our inbox, usually a mindless, irrelevant chain letter. The email promises great fortune if we send it to three hundred additional victims within the next ten minutes, but warns of dire consequences if this is ignored. Are you kidding? I forward it to my trash.
I don’t respond to extortion nor do I fall for get rich quick schemes. I fall for everything else (my body practically glows from the frequent x rays), but I don’t fall for million dollar jackpots. And if you shared my particular brand of catastrophically bad luck, you wouldn’t either.
To these threatening emails I am expected to reply with a newsy, entertaining email of my own making. Not one I’ve hijacked from the internet, duplicated, and sent to several dozen other close friends. Yeah? Fat chance. If the best you can do is send a vague threat to my health and happiness, I’m not obliged to amuse you with tales of my egregious social missteps and the new people I meet when they help me up from another fall. I’m drawing the line here, now.
Another irksome development is the appearance of emoticons punctuating a snarky comment, to wit: “hey, what’s up? Did you know you’re starting to smell funny? : ) Gotta run, ttfn, bff.” A smiley face does not make personal attacks charming or forgivable. Insults aside, people are rapidly losing the ability to express themselves and, if this trend continues, we’ll be reduced to pointing and grunting before long.
Where, I ask, is the fun in that?
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