: don’t look up :

Lately all manner of paraphernalia has been dropping from the sky: satellites, asteroids, thirty horrifying inches of snow. What in the world is going on?

The UARS satellite came crashing to earth in September, landing in a remote area of the South Pacific, southwest of Christmas Island. Sounds like a merry place to land, doesn’t it? Christmas Island. I’d like to land there myself — in the warm, tropical sunshine. If only I could persuade NASA to launch me.

A second satellite, this one German and the size of a minivan, crashed into the Indian Ocean, around the Bay of Bengal, in October. The parts that survived re-entry hit the water at 280 mph — you know, I imagined it’d be faster. Wile E. Coyote drops that fast.

And now scientists are abuzz with the approach of 2005 YU55, an asteroid. On November 8th, said asteroid will do a fly-by of planet earth, missing us by 200,000 miles. Which brings it closer than the moon. Earthlings need not be afraid of 2005 YU55.

Snow, that’s what we need to fear. Last weekend’s storm in the northeast dropped as much as 30 freaking inches of snow in some parts of Massachusetts and New Hampshire. That’s just uncalled for. Such calamities shouldn’t occur, not before Halloween. Or after, for that matter. We’re trying to have a civilized society here, but we can’t if folks are up to their knees in cold, wet, heavy, immobilizing snow.

I don’t know about you, but I’m unnerved by all this. Snow shouldn’t be falling. Asteroids shouldn’t be whizzing by. And satellites should stay in orbit. You know what should be dropping from the sky? Hundred dollar bills. Or new tires. Or Cheetos. Something we could use, for crying out loud.

Copyright © Publikworks 2011.

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10 Responses to “: don’t look up :”

  1. Jason

    I live in Buffalo, snow is easy for me to handle. As for huge objects falling from apace, that freaks me the F out.

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    • publikworks

      You’re a courageous soul, jason. I admire people who can take winter and all its nastiness in stride. I wish I could be like you guys.

      Like

  2. Lenore Diane

    I am just now hearing of the Nov 8th fly by… and I missed the German satellite crashing into earth. How did I get out of the loop, PW?

    I like the idea of cheetos falling from the sky… ice cream, too. Always.

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    • publikworks

      Wouldn’t that be fun, LD? But they’d have to be packaged: Cheetos in bags and ice cream in cartons. Otherwise we’d be raking and shoveling all the time.

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  3. Min

    See, why watch our german news when I can get all the news right here *snicker* seriously, I had no clue that one of our sats crashed. About the snow . . . could you please send it here? All of it? Right away? I sooo would love snow but all we got is a fake fall. Way to warm and some sort of weird. You know, the shops are already stuffed with things for christmas but outside it’s 20 C° and there are still leafes on the trees. How in the world shall people get into the mood of christmas with this kind of weather?

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    • publikworks

      Hiya, Min. Over here we’re just starting to gear up for Thanksgiving, a holiday that’s nearly three weeks away. After that, the real Christmas season begins, with the shopping and the parties and the carols. As for the snow and cold, ew, you may have it. Thanks for stopping, it was good to hear from you.

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