The UARS satellite came crashing to earth in September, landing in a remote area of the South Pacific, southwest of Christmas Island. Sounds like a merry place to land, doesn’t it? Christmas Island. I’d like to land there myself — in the warm, tropical sunshine. If only I could persuade NASA to launch me.
A second satellite, this one German and the size of a minivan, crashed into the Indian Ocean, around the Bay of Bengal, in October. The parts that survived re-entry hit the water at 280 mph — you know, I imagined it’d be faster. Wile E. Coyote drops that fast.
And now scientists are abuzz with the approach of 2005 YU55, an asteroid. On November 8th, said asteroid will do a fly-by of planet earth, missing us by 200,000 miles. Which brings it closer than the moon. Earthlings need not be afraid of 2005 YU55.
Snow, that’s what we need to fear. Last weekend’s storm in the northeast dropped as much as 30 freaking inches of snow in some parts of Massachusetts and New Hampshire. That’s just uncalled for. Such calamities shouldn’t occur, not before Halloween. Or after, for that matter. We’re trying to have a civilized society here, but we can’t if folks are up to their knees in cold, wet, heavy, immobilizing snow.
I don’t know about you, but I’m unnerved by all this. Snow shouldn’t be falling. Asteroids shouldn’t be whizzing by. And satellites should stay in orbit. You know what should be dropping from the sky? Hundred dollar bills. Or new tires. Or Cheetos. Something we could use, for crying out loud.
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