There’s one thing I can do well, as good as or better than anyone else. No one had to teach me, I didn’t have to take a class or buy a self-help book. This is a natural talent and it was mine from the start, coming as easily as breathing. I can sleep like nobody’s business.
Any teacher I had after junior high will confirm this. No, wait, I stayed awake in college, so any teacher post-junior high, but pre-college will back me up. See, here’s the thing: I have a tragically low threshold for boredom. It has the effect of a Schedule IV narcotic. Happily, I’m able to keep my eyes open through tedious conversations and activities these days, but my mind is usually busy elsewhere, far, far away. Daydreaming.
Like just then. It looks like I was focused on the task at hand, typing this, but really I was thinking about lunch. Picturing my toasted cheese sandwich and dill pickle spear, still shiny with pickle juice. I’m a multi-tasker like that.
Great, now I’ve forgotten where I was going with this. Oh, right, sleeping. Accomplished as I am in the art, I sometimes have trouble getting there, to sleep. Until I discovered pockets. Yep, those places you put your hands. Coats have them, pants, shorts, and shirts have them. Pajamas, too. They’re wonderfully relaxing places to stick your hands when you go to bed. Comforting, even.
I’m a side sleeper myself, sometimes on my back, and those positions lend themselves to using the warm, cozy confines of pockets. Your entire body seems to fall into place, from shoulders to knees, incidentally leaving you in a casual, debonair pose. If such things matter to you at bedtime.
The one caution I should give is, empty your pockets before bed. Cell phones and car keys and hard candy won’t make for a comfortable experience. Tissues are okay, if you take them out of the box first. And folding money, sleepwalkers might find it comes in handy. But a flashlight is out.
The point is, there’s no need for a sleeping pill when your pajamas have pockets. On bitterly cold nights, stick some pocket warmers in there and you’re snug as a bug in a rug. A cup of cocoa wouldn’t hurt, either.
Now that night starts falling at three in the afternoon, these things are good to keep in mind. Or in your pocket. Sweet dreams.
Copyright © Publikworks 2011.