: the glowing review :

The good news is I’m not glow-in-the-dark, I don’t even glimmer. I’m not growing hair on my palms or sporting a third eye, either. Shoot, I’m not even queasy.

You see, yesterday I had an ablation. In other words, I had a dose of radioactive iodine to shut down production of my hyperactive thyroid gland. It’s been flooding my system with thyroid hormones and causing a rapid, erratic heartbeat, among other things. I didn’t mind so much, but I guess a funny heartbeat is bad.

That’s how I wound up sitting in the Nuclear Medicine department, waiting for my dose of radioactivity to arrive. They don’t keep them in stock, apparently, but order them on an as needed basis.

When the radiologist at last appeared, he was bearing a short, fat, heavy cement cylinder. It was like something from the bomb squad. Entombed inside all that cement sat a plastic vial containing the dreaded capsule, the one I had to swallow. It was black and gray, very grim-looking.

The tech handed me the vial and a styrofoam cup filled with Sierra Mist — on the rocks, I might add. Then they both backed up, retreating to a safe, comfortable distance from me (and my nuclear medicine). The whole thing struck me as just totally absurd. I laughed, they didn’t. Do they ever?

With my very first gulp of Sierra Mist, the radiologist swung the door open wide and dismissed me. It was sort of a ‘here’s your hat, what’s your hurry’ moment. I’m used to those, but I was, nevertheless, defiant. I took a second swallow, then a third, and decided not to press my luck any further than that.

As I toddled out, the tech presented me with an official, bona fide certificate to flash at airport security and federal buildings, explaining why I’m setting off radiation detectors. Isn’t that a hoot? I’m thinking of having it framed, that’s how much I like it.

Thus ended a most peculiar experience. One I’m happy to report caused no ill effects. No stomach ache, no headache, no swelling, no luminosity, no nothing. Now let’s cross our fingers and hope it works.

Copyright © Publikworks 2012

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24 Responses to “: the glowing review :”

  1. emmlaa

    I would also frame the certificate or keep it in my pocket and use it as a conversation starter :)

    Like

      • emmlaa

        no problem, I have only just come on to wordpress and your blog is amazing and very insiteful :)

        Like

        • publikworks

          That’s so nice of you to say, thanks. I hope you’ll stick around, emmlaa, because there’s so much more to come.

          Like

  2. 1pointperspective

    If it’s any consolation, the Sierra Mist was probably the more dangerous substance. Glad you’re feeling no worse for wear and tear.

    Like

  3. Lenore Diane

    Fascinating. To think ingesting something radioactive will solve the thryroid problem. Though, they use radioactive stuff for Cancer, so I suppose it is no surprise.
    I think I would have gone to the airport for giggles. I’d love to see the looks on the faces of those around me, as the bells and whistles sound. They may rethink their flight.
    So far so good, Lisa. Here’s to the happy ending.

    Like

    • publikworks

      We’ll have to wait two months to find out if it was successful. I hope it goes fast, I hope, I hope.

      In the meantime, I’ll be spending a lot of time at the airport. The certificate doesn’t expire until June 29! Good times ahead, LD. Thanks for the idea.

      Like

  4. Liezel @ lukraakvars

    I think you should get a Ben 10 watch… you know just for funsies. It might even work, oh but we can dream. Glad all went well. My boss has a hyperactive thyroid and all other medication that she has taken for it has had insane side effects so as a result she’s just had to cope with it… I have mentioned this ablation thing. Maybe here in South Africa we can get such treatments too… Here’s hoping.

    Like

    • publikworks

      I’d love to get a Ben 10 watch, that would be so awesome. If it worked? Whoa!

      I feel bad for your boss, dealing with a hyperactive thyroid is not fun. Especially without any medication. Yikes! I hope she can find a doctor who knows about this ablation stuff, I know they do it in Europe, too. So maybe South Africa is in on it. Good luck, Liezel, tell her to hang in there.

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      • Liezel @ lukraakvars

        Hey, I just saw this one now. Yeah imagine if Ben 10 watches are real. Could turn out interesting.

        Yeah my boss has been living with it for a long time now. To see her get healthy would be awesome! Hopefully :) Thanx for the encouragement.

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        • publikworks

          Let me know how it turns out! It’s such a simple, effective treatment everyone should be able to receive it. I’m hoping your boss finds some relief. Soon.

          Like

    • publikworks

      Wouldn’t that be a bonus? I think I’ll give it a try tomorrow, sort of a test drive. Great tip, nc, I can always count on you : )

      Like

  5. suzymarie56

    This sounds like something that didn’t happen in real life haha. I love how you wrote out the contrast between the doctors and yourself, so funny! They sound truly frightened haha. How long are you radioactive for? I hope it makes you feel better anyways, and glad there are no side effects.

    Like

    • publikworks

      There was a dreamlike-quality to the whole experience, suzymarie. I was awfully happy to have it over with and go outside into the sunshine. They tell me I’ll have this stuff in my system for five days. By Sunday I should be free and clear. What a relief!

      Thanks for stopping by.

      Like

  6. angelvalleywed

    Ah, the breakfast of champions — Sierra Mist with a radioactive chaser. Glad to hear you’re done with it (and good for you for taking those extra sips!) and no freaky side effects, to boot. Congratulations on your newfound inner glow!

    Like

    • publikworks

      Hi, Jo, thanks! It’s always so fun to hear from you.

      I think I’ve had so much water in the last couple of days that my inner glow has gotten diluted. At least I hope it has : )

      Like

  7. Angie Z.

    You’re still in my thoughts, Lisa — I’m still rooting for you for a smashing good time in 2012 (doesn’t rhyme like 2009 so probably not good on a t-shirt otherwise I’d make it for you). I love that you might set off airport alarms. That is not something everyone can brag about.

    Like

    • publikworks

      Hi, kiddo! Thank you.

      Isn’t that great? I’ve set off the security alarm at Barnes & Noble when they’ve forgotten to clear my books, but never a radiation detector. That would be an upgrade. And probably a felony — without my handy, dandy certificate : 0

      Like

  8. O. Leonard

    Fascinating, and yes I hope it works. Do you set off radiation detectors. I would have tried that out first thing.

    Like

    • publikworks

      I should have, shouldn’t I? Yesterday would have been ideal, I think — in terms of my radiation level. It’s probably dissipated quite a bit, I hope anyway. If I have to do this again, I’ll head to the airport pdq. And report back!

      Like

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