: not undead, just unwarm :

If I remember my vampire lore properly, they don’t have a reflection. I mean, vampires look in the mirror and, hello? — no one’s there. That’s got to be annoying when you want to check your make-up. Or see if those pants make you look fat. But that’s the price you pay for not having a soul, right?

In the big scheme of things, however, it’s nothing compared to my predicament.

I don’t have any body heat — none. Seriously, I have the skin temperature of a corpse. Winter and summer, whether it’s 95º in the shade or 6º below zero, my hands are like popsicles: icy cold.

And that may explain why I can’t get trackpads or touchscreens or card swipes to work. See, I press the buttons, but nothing happens. I press harder and harder and? Nope, still nothing. In the end, I mash the damn button and, voila, up pops the ‘please wait for an attendant’ message. Gah!

Oh, it’s all very frustrating, not to mention time-consuming. What should be a simple retail transaction becomes, in fact, quite complicated and lengthy. But trackpads are, ye gods, even worse. They are cruel, balky, unpredictable devices and I hate them. A lot.

If I had a choice, I’d avoid them like the plague. I have a laptop, though, and no mouse, so sooner or later, the trackpad is inevitable. Oh, sure, I can default to the arrow keys as a work around, but not always. I can use keyboard shortcuts, too, but, here again, not always. The trackpad awaits.

Scrolling is a special kind of torture. So is the old ‘drag and drop’ maneuver. I stroke and pet the stoopid thing; I beckon to the cursor sweetly; I try sneaking up on it; I paw and I grope. But the horrid little cursor doesn’t budge, it just winks and winks and winks in infuriating mockery. Things turn ugly at that point and I get a bit heated.

Aaaah. That’s such a nice feeling, getting heated : )

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12 thoughts on “: not undead, just unwarm :

    1. I’m flaky, all right. And since you’re asking, I’d love a piece, Susan. Got any peach? Or strawberry? Or rhubarb? Or strawberry rhubarb?


  1. Ouch, that does noooooot sound fun. My stepmom’s hands are also always cold, no matter where or when. She however doesn’t use trackpads so I doubt she has half the frustrations you have. Maybe you should just get yourself a mouse… I think it would save you so many trips to the shrink and also its way more convenient than a trackpad.


    1. Hi, Liezel, how are you? You’re right, I should, but it really chaps my cheeks to spend $60US for a mouse just because I have cold hands : /


  2. One of my boss’ from my youthful days of high school jobs had cold hands. We worked in a glass gallery (she owned it), and she never left finger prints on the glass, because of her cold hands. It was a weird party trick.

    We still have blankets out on our couch, and I typically have one draped over me while watching TV at night, while my husband sweats in the chair next to me.


        1. Some days it’s humid, other days, no. I think I’m benefitting from the air conditioning in the apartments above and below me. Or else I have a touch of malaria.


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