: the pledge :

America is, without question, a swell place from sea to shining sea. We have amber waves of grain and spacious skies and a fruited plain. Purple mountain majesties, too. What more could we ask?

Well, speaking for myself, I’d like a better Pledge of Allegiance. Most people complain about the national anthem being difficult, but I find the Pledge totally forgettable. Indivisible? Who uses that in conversation? Mathematicians? I never remember the words and keep getting them confused with song lyrics and advertising slogans.

This concerns me.

Why, I wonder, can I recite the Crest pledge word for word — Crest has been shown to be an effective decay preventive dentifrice when used in a conscientiously applied program of oral hygiene and regular professional care — but stumble through the Pledge of Allegiance?

I don’t even use Crest, never have (FYI: my toothpaste of choice has always been Colgate). Nor did I begin sixteen years of school days by facing a tube of Crest and pledging my loyal and undying allegiance. Yet there it is, “an effective decay preventive dentifrice”, stamped on my brain. Why? It’s pretty clinical.

When I recite the Pledge of Allegiance, though, it comes out as an odd mix of that, the Star Spangled Banner, and the Girl Scout oath. Then, more often than not, I tack on an “amen” at the end. What in the world is going on? Is it just me or does this happen to everyone?

I don’t think of myself as unpatriotic. Forgetful, sure, and scatter-brained, but not unpatriotic. However, this need not happen; you can be ready when the occasion presents itself. Simply clip out the handy, dandy Pocket Pledge, laminate it, slip it into your wallet or purse, and keep it with you at all times. Pretty neat, eh?

Amen.

Copyright © Publikworks 2012

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10 Responses to “: the pledge :”

  1. davidufer

    Funny, I was just mentioning something just the opposite to a friend of mine on Sunday. We were running a 5K event for fallen soldiers and we recited the Pledge of Alliegance before the event started. I mentioned how after all these years, the words to the Pledge come rolling back with no hesitation.

    What a hoot!

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  2. SandySays1

    It’s tough memorizing anything. One thing’s for sure – I wouldn’t audition for any plays if I were you. At least you don’t have the same problem a blue tick hound I know has. He can’t remember if the national anthem is Battle Hymn of the Republic or Dixie.

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    • publikworks

      Oh, shoot. And here I was all set to audition for My Fair Lady : )

      Hi, SandySays, I love your gravatar! And it’s Dixie, right?

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  3. Lenore Diane

    I am super impressed with the fact that you can recite the Crest pledge. I grew up using Crest, but I switched to Colgate when I grew up, because I thought it was cool how the blue liquid protected the piece of chalk. (HA! Do you remember that Colgate commercial?)

    I can’t say as the Pledge ever caused me to stumble, but I will forever think of you now – when I say it.

    P.S. I think you have your mojo back.

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    • publikworks

      I have no idea why I remember the Crest thing. I have a lot of useless information trapped in my brain, probably because I didn’t retain any of the necessary and useful stuff?

      PS. I’m pretty sure my mojo is gone for good. I will miss it greatly.

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  4. Lukraakvars

    Great post, as usual. I must say tho that it doesnt look that difficult..and the USA anthem doesnt sound that difficult to remember either… but then again SouthAfrica’s national anthem does have 4 different languages of which I only speak 2, the rest of the time im not quite sure what Im singing. Woops.

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    • publikworks

      It isn’t that difficult, unless you happen to be me. Thank heavens it’s in a language I know. Thanks for putting things in perspective, Liezel — it’s always a treat to hear from you : )

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      • Lukraakvars

        Anytime!! I would send you the National anthem of South Africa but I can barely pronounce all the words so I wouldnt torture you haha. Google Nkosi Sikelel’ iAfrika (simply translated as the call of africa). Hope you have a fab day.

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