Okay, first of all, the place to be on chilly, gray Saturday mornings in November is at home in your jammies, not on line at the DMV with a hundred or so fellow citizens. That, my friends, is Don’t number one on our list here.
If you have to go on a Saturday, pick a sunny one in springtime and be there when the doors open. Don’t wait for a reasonable hour, say 10 o’clock, or you’ll have plenty of time to regret it. Plenty.
And speaking of waiting, when your driver’s license expires, don’t put off renewal for more than a year. In the eyes of the DMV, only undesirables would pull such a stunt: terrorists, felons, identity thieves, ne’er-do-wells, that type.
They’ll want to see proof you’re not of that ilk and lots of it. Everything from birth certificates to bank statements; and I do mean everything.
You’ll also be subjected to an eye test and a written test and a driving test if your license has been expired for more than a year. Seems like piling on, doesn’t it? A driving test? Really?
In that endeavor, the driving test, it’s best not to make your examiner gasp in fear. It’s a Don’t, although it’s easier to do than you may think; the examiners are surprisingly skittish.
I just took my hands off the steering wheel for a second, to change eyeglasses, and oh my stars. A sharp, startled gasp issued from the passenger seat, then a pen furiously recorded my recklessness. It was not only unnerving, it was insulting, too.
In the Do column, and this is important, do get an examiner in a hurry. Your mistakes may go unnoticed — as long as there are no injuries. An examiner in a rush, one distracted by glorious thoughts of time off, is your best friend. And don’t forget to offer a refreshing mint when exiting the vehicle. It shows you care.
Happy motoring, all : )
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