: what I’ve learned stocking freezers :

Each time you start a new job what happens? You learn things.

It’s not like you’re trying to or anything, you just do. Usually it’s stoopid stuff like where to park and new extension numbers and who to avoid in the lunchroom. But every once in a while, bingo, you’ll find out some good stuff. Like who’s had what nipped or lipo’d and who’s zooming who — wink wink, nudge nudge.

So, please, allow me to share a few of the things I’ve learned with you, my dear and faithful readers. Perhaps you can apply some of these lessons to your own lives and live more happily ever after because of them.

1. Box Cutter — sounds simple enough, right? Don’t you believe it; these things only occasionally open boxes. A better name for them is ‘skin slicer’ or ‘shoe stabber’ or ‘pants ventilator’. Consider yourself warned.

2. Name Tags —  the only people who pay attention to name tags are angry customers and then only so they can turn you in. What makes me think that? Everyone calls me Tina; my name is Lisa and that’s what my name tag says. In protest, I no longer respond to Tina.

3. Long Underwear — is your very best friend and warms more than your heart. As a general rule, the more you have the happier you are.

4. Apples vs. Tomatoes — while this is an age old conundrum, it’s an easy one. Apples bounce, tomatoes splatter. So, the question you should be asking is, would you rather chase or scrub? There is no wrong answer.

A short list to be sure, but one, I hope, you’ll find useful.

Copyright © publikworks 2012

Advertisements

18 Responses to “: what I’ve learned stocking freezers :”

    • publikworks

      Hey, John, thanks! Seven of my ten fingertips have been cut open so far. Even though they’re small, like paper cuts, they sure do sting. Yeow x 7!

      Like

    • publikworks

      Hiya, never contrary! I can’t say I’ve enjoyed learning them, so I’m happy you enjoyed reading about the experience. If you hadn’t I’d have been miserable. Thank you.

      Like

  1. angelvalleyfarm

    Oh that’s just silly. You don’t look at all like a Tina. (Um, that is you in the photo, right?)

    Like

    • publikworks

      Uh-huh, yes. That’s me. And I don’t think I look like a Tina, either, Jo. Tina would be a beautician or a manicurist, not someone who stocks freezers.

      Like

  2. JD Stockten

    Great list! I had a boss at a shoe store who admitted to me that she had taken a few dozen hits of acid in her life time. She taught me how to upsale socks to customers in a scary, ineffective way. What she really taught me was to not take acid.

    Like

  3. Lenore Diane

    I’ve missed you. These are hilarious. Apples bounce – tomatoes splatter. Chase or scrub. Priceless, Tina – er – Lisa.

    Like

    • publikworks

      Aw, thanks, LD. I’ve missed you, too. I’ve been meaning to visit you for a couple weeks now, but as soon as I sit down I fall asleep. When my tired, sore old body adjusts I’ll start pestering you again. Until then, know I’ll be thinking of you.

      Like

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: