: great googly moogly :

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There used to be an expression, and probably still is, ‘it’s better than a sharp stick in the eye.’ Really? Has such a thing ever been proven? I wondered, so I tested the theory: I had eye surgery.

Okay, technically, I suppose, a scalpel doesn’t qualify as a sharp stick since it doesn’t grow on a tree, but it is sharp and it was in my eye. I’d say that counts, wouldn’t you?

That’s what they used, anyway, to remove a cataract from my wildly nearsighted eye, a scalpel. In a couple weeks, they’ll do it all again; remove a cataract from my other eye, the one that’s not as nearsighted. In the meantime, I have the vision of a lopsided Cyclops. Which is a significant improvement, I might add.

Last year, about this time, my vision was clocked at -14.00 and -11.25. That’s pretty poor, ladies and gentlemen, well below Hans Moleman range. And approaching legally blind standards. I’m serious.

I haven’t been able to read a street sign or a menu board for years. I couldn’t recognize familiar faces or find stuff I’d dropped. And I got a dowager’s hump from sitting hunched over my computer, trying to see the keys and/or read the screen. What I needed, obviously, was a monitor the size of a drive-in movie screen, but they don’t make one that big. Dammit.

I hope all that’s behind me now — or will be after the second surgery. Do you know what the most amazing part of this whole process has been? It’s not the clarity or the detail I’ve regained, it’s not the fact that I can again identify things on sight; no, it’s the colors. They’re vibrant and rich and vivid, and they’re everywhere. I had no idea the world was such a glorious, brilliant place.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2VCwBzGdPM

So, what’s the verdict? Is it better than a sharp stick in the eye? Mceiwi odpr9qmr hjn xaig se drewr nuixwx … ooh, sorry, my hair fell over my eye : )

Copyright © publikworks 2013

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6 Responses to “: great googly moogly :”

  1. FurthermoreAndSoForth

    Great googly moogly is right! You beat me to the punch. Or scalpel, I guess. I’m in desperate need of some eye slicing myself but the idea of it scares the bejeezus out of me. For some time now I’ve opted for partial blindness (I’m only cataracted in one eye) but I know my time will come. Oh, it’ll come. Was it creepy?

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    • publikworks

      I won’t lie, Jo, I was shaking in my shoes. That’s one reason why I kept putting it off, but things had finally reached the point where my only options were the surgery or a guide dog.Happily, though, it wasn’t bad at all; I breezed right through the surgery. Usually you’re just sedated, but I had general anesthesia — they put me out like a light. And still I left the hospital by 10 the same morning. I’m hoping for the same exact results next time, but here again I’m already shaking in my shoes.

      If I’d known, we could have done this together. Wouldn’t that have been fun?

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      • FurthermoreAndSoForth

        General anesthesia! Wow, I didn’t realize that was an option. I’m with you on that choice. Too bad we couldn’t have done it together, most certainly. It would have been all sorts of fun — plus, they say there’s safety in numbers.

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        • publikworks

          Actually, it was the doctor who chose the anesthesia — because I’m such a coward. I recommend it, though. Highly.

          Think of the fun we could’ve had in the recovery room. Asking for room service and pain killers.

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  2. Susan

    I had my cataract surgery a couple of years ago. It’s an amazing thing, really. And yes, the colors changed color. But mostly the light was brighter. The first stop I made was to buy sunglasses.

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    • publikworks

      The light is definitely different, cleaner somehow. It’s as if everything’s been Windexed, right?

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