: the birthday girl :

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That’s me and I’m none too happy about it, either.

You see, I’m at the age where birthdays are like a membership in Fruit of the Month club — it comes too often and you get too many of them. Way, way too many. Can anyone tell me how to cancel the damn things? What the heck am I supposed to do with all these birthdays? Holy cow, enough already. Uncle.

Want to know what I got? An absolutely beautiful day, a haircut, and a DVD, The Girl Who Played with Fire. The Swedish version. Want to know what I didn’t get? My narrative flow back, it’s still AWOL. And I’m starting to get mad. Seriously. I’ve been looking for the stoopid thing for more than year now, I’ve looked high and I’ve looked low. I’ve searched hither and yon, far and wide, here and there. And guess what I found. Bupkis. Zip. Not even a trace.

Well, who needs a narrative flow, right? So what if the text is choppy and the prose lurches awkwardly from cliché to banality to platitude? Hackneyed writing and lame ideas deserve to exist, too, you know. At least that’s what I keep telling myself. But, oh, how I miss the days when I’d happily tap away at my keyboard, finding new ideas and new ways to express them. Those were good times. Past tense.

Now, I sit at my computer and gnash my teeth. Where’s the fun in that? There isn’t any, I checked. I tried to convince myself I was having fun, but I never believed me. Sure, I pretended like I did, but I didn’t fool me. Not for a second.

So, on this, my blasted birthday, I’m going to make a new start. I’m going to stop waiting for my old style, my old technique to return. Who needs it? I’ll find a new one. A better one. I’ll write like I’ve never written before and be happier because of it. Ha, so there. Maybe.

Copyright © 2013 Publikworks

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14 Responses to “: the birthday girl :”

    • publikworks

      Hiya, Blogdramedy. Your work is always great, it’s not fair. The writing part is hard for me, but hitting the publish button? That’s excruciating. I do it to teach myself a lesson — less than brilliant writing won’t kill me. It’s painful and embarrassing, but not fatal.

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      • Blogdramedy

        Thanks for your kind words. I love readers who drink before reading. Makes my life so much easier.

        Seriously, I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately about what makes the “perfect” blog, how to write the “perfect” post, and how to “dialogue” with readers so you’ll get more readers.

        It scared the shit out of me. I’ve been doing it all wrong. So what am I going to do? Not change a damn thing. Life’s too short to be perfect. There are plenty of bloggers who do it the “right” way and they are great writers. I just don’t want to be one of them.

        I’m happy doing what I do, in my own voice. And so should you.

        Here endith the sermon.

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        • publikworks

          I agree with you 100%. The problem’s been I lost my voice. And my enthusiasm. And my motivation. And every bit of interest. I didn’t know what to do with myself, that’s never happened to me before. Scary and sad is what it was. Sort of like losing an organ, an important one, too — a liver or a kidney. But I’ve had a series of come to Jesus meetings with myself and hope things are turning around. So keep a good thought.

          Thanks for the pep talk, Blogdramedy. I can use all the help I can get.

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  1. Prudy

    Hey, Lisa…it’s after midnight now and I’m just seeing your blog about your birthday. I’m late…but “Happy Birthday, Lisa”. Any birthday is better than the alternative. Jump right in there and enjoy each day as it comes regardless of age, which is what I do. My 77th coming up. After all age is just of a “state of mind”, right? Wishing you all the best. Prudy

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    • publikworks

      Thanks, Prudy. You’re right, this is better than the alternative. I sure wish time would slow down, though — it’s hard to keep up at this pace. You have a good night : )

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  2. FurthermoreAndSoForth

    Happy belated birthday, my long lost twin! You’re being far too hard on yourself. Every post you write elicits multiple giggles at this end. Every time. So let’s raise a toast to the fact we have 364 blissful days left before we have to again add a one. Cheers.

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    • publikworks

      You’re the best, Jo! Here’s to the 364 still ahead, I’ll try to get them right this time. Hope your day was a happy one, my far away friend!

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    • publikworks

      Um, yeah, me, too. I wonder what they’ll be about. And if they’ll be any good? Well, there’s only one way to find out, right? Wish me luck.

      I hope to see you soon, Ink Pot. Thanks for stopping by, that was sweet of you.

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