: loop? what loop? :

the loop

The one that holds all the keys to all the information in all the world. The one that keeps you connected to everyone and everything. The one you’re in right this very second. Yeah, that loop: the Internet.

Sadly, that’s the loop I’m out of. Once in a while I’m in the general vicinity, but that’s as close as I come. You see, I have no Internet connection. No smartphone, either. I don’t even have cable television. This austerity, ladies and gentlemen, is the equivalent of sensory deprivation. I hear nothing, I see nothing, and, voilá, I know nothing. Lizard people could be running the world for all I know. Seriously. Neptunians would get the news before I did.

I’m out here on my own, disconnected and unplugged, wandering from wi-fi hotspot to wi-fi hotspot. A nomad, a gypsy, an itinerant blogger, that’s me. I scurry from Barnes & Noble to McDonald’s to Starbucks. One more latte and, glug glug, I’ll drown. I swear I will.

This being out of the loop thing is expensive, what with gas and coffee and all. But it’s a price I’m happy to pay. Who wants to be seen as a mooch, the bum who shows up to cadge free wi-fi? Not me. I’d like to at least look like a paying customer, even if I can’t afford to spring for a book or a bacon cheeseburger every time I check email.

I’m not a cheapskate, really I’m not, but I do live like one.

This weekend, I was lucky, I picked up a dog sitting gig — for people with connections. Television and Internet, a totally la-di-da set up. They’re wired, man — premium channels, pay per view, Netflix, high-speed Internet, the whole enchilada.

I’ve cruised and surfed and tuned in, I’ve downloaded and uploaded and remote-controlled until I’m cross-eyed. When I haven’t been on the Internet I’ve been parked in front of the fancy schmancy big screen tv. My eyes are bloodshot, my head is pounding, my brain is in overload, and the dogs are … Wait, the dogs.

Oh, isn’t that cute? They’re trying to dial 9-1-1.

Copyright © 2013 Publikworks

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12 Responses to “: loop? what loop? :”

  1. mcwatty9

    Good post. Which do you prefer, living with limited internet access or the weekend of full-blown stimulation overload(or just having access to the internet readily available)?

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    • publikworks

      Hmm, that’s a mighty good question, mcwatty. I don’t know.

      I loved the immediate access, but I’m practically hungover from overindulgence. I couldn’t stop myself and went overboard. The limited access, though, is no fun at all. None. It cramps my style, I think. I don’t ever seem to have all the stuff I need at the same time and that’s, gah, annoying. So I guess too much is better than not enough.

      What about you?

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      • mcwatty9

        I like living without because when I spend too much time on the internet I feel over stimulated and think too fast. I like books because they force my brain to slow, and thinking slowly helps me to pace stories better.

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  2. Jackie Cangro

    It’s great to unplug. I know what you mean. Sometimes I don’t even realize how much the internet is a time suck until hours have gone by and my dog is looking at me like, hey it’s time for dinner, lady. :)

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    • publikworks

      When I finally remembered the dogs, they were not at all happy. They couldn’t uncross their legs. Fortunately, dogs are very forgiving creatures. Toss them a few treats and we’re the best of friends again. : )

      Like

  3. Blogdramedy

    We decided we’d have one or the other but not both. We live way, way, way out in the country and had the option of satellite television or Internet. One turn around the dial at a friend’s house and it was an easy decision. We’d go with Internet, even if it’s a slow connection. We can pick and choose what we want to watch, when we want to watch it. And no commercials. Yes!

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    • publikworks

      I’m with you, I’d go with Internet over tv every time. The tough choice is Internet at home or on a smartphone. That’s the choice I’ll be facing in the near future. Like you, it’s one or the other — both is unnecessary.

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  4. FurthermoreAndSoForth

    Oof, stay away from smartphones, whatever you do. I recently caved in and bought one, and I hate it. All the bllliiiiing! noises and indecipherable little symbols that pop up on the thing. As soon as my contract runs out I’m downgrading to a free flip phone like my husband’s. The one everyone laughs at. I can’t wait.

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    • publikworks

      It’s the contract that chaps my cheeks. Two years? Give me a break. I, too, hated my smartphone and, yes, I switched to a nine dollar go phone. I never remember to take it with me, because it doesn’t do anything. Oh, sure. it rings once in a while, but so do I. Just for the fun of it.

      Still, I’m leaning toward your basic internet connection. That just seems like a smarter move for some reason. So it’s probably not.

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