You’ll have to bear with me here, I’m dopey from tryptophan. Dopey and sleepy and deeply regretting my choice of pants. They fit so nicely when I put them on this morning, now they’re a tool of the devil. I can’t breathe, I can’t bend, I’m as bloated as a parade balloon. Stand back, ladies and gentlemen, I could blow any second.
While we’re waiting, let me tell you what I’m thankful for on this fine Thanksgiving Day. It’s not the same old chestnuts, the ones that get trotted out every year along with the good china — family, friends, food, shelter, et al. They may be politically correct and lovely sentiments, but ho-freaking-hum, right? Come up with some new material. Please.
Me, I’m thankful for forced air heating. Jack Daniels. Books with real, honest-to-goodness pages. Recliners. Brownies. Van Halen. Warm socks. And winning lottery tickets (or I will be if I ever have one).
You know what else I’m thankful for? Pockets. Without them, hands just hang there, looking awkward, ungainly, and really, really dorky. Seriously, what can you do with hands when they’re not busy? Fidget? Whittle? No, you shove them in your pockets where they can’t get into trouble. And when your hands are occupied with other things, voila, storage space.
Right now, however, my hands are homeless. They have nowhere to go. I couldn’t cram them in my pockets with a crowbar, that’s how tight my pants are. The turkey wasn’t half as stuffed as I a … whoa, did you hear a rumble? That’s ominous, what was it?
There it is agai
Copyright © 2013 Publikworks
the whirly girl 
22 responses to “: bursting with thanks or something :”
Your blog always makes me laugh. I mean…you’re one of my favorites! So I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award something-or-other….
http://swivelfreely.wordpress.com/2013/12/09/awardingly/
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Why, thank you, Lizi. You’re one of my favorite readers!
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well, the educational system gave me a bit of reading practice here and there, so what can I say?
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Reblogged this on dropthecow.
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Your post made me literally LOL- and after a long day at work, I really needed it! :)
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That”s music to my ears, tbree. Thank you! Stop back soon, let’s see if I can do it again : )
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Reblogged this on Between Everything and Nothing.
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: )
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Whittle! What a great idea. I usually fold origami but toting all that paper around can be so cumbersome.
Hilarious post, Lisa. Hope you’ve recovered enough by now to indulge in some leftovers.
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What are these leftovers you speak of? Yes, I would like to indulge — did you make these leftovers, Jo? Is this an invitation?
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C’mon over! There’s a half-eaten cooked turkey here, ready for more carving. Just do me a favor, would ya? Wear elasticized pants.
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Ha, sweatpants, it is — XXL.
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Love this – Happy holidays! :)
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And I love turkey : (
Thanks, Charlene, you’re sweet as pie. Mmm, pieeeeee.
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Reblogged this on PUHHAC.
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I’m usually the only one who re-blogs my posts. Not intentionally, of course, but often. I’m relieved you’ve done it, too — I hope you meant to.
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I’m sorry if it harms you or made you uncomfortable, friends. I’m so sorry. I’m so glad ever re-blogs your post.
Best,
Miftah
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: )
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I think you should send in a submission to guest post on The Nudge Wink Report. http://nudgewinkreport.wordpress.com
I know the management and I’ve put in a good word.
Seriously. You’ll fit right in with the team.
BD
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Flatterer.
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What an explosive post.
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You know me, I’m a people pleaser. I wanted to show my hosts how much I enjoyed the wonderful food and went a little overboard. Heh heh, ka-boom. Whoops.
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