T.S. Eliot was wrong; he said April was the cruelest¹. Well, what does he know? He was a poet², for crying out loud, a notoriously flaky bunch, not a meteorologist. April is not now, nor has it ever been, the cruelest month. It’s not even in the top five. No matter what he said or how well he said it.
April is hope and renewal; it’s Easter and April Fool’s Day and National Humor month and Library Week. Daily high temperatures (in my neck of the woods, anyway) climb from 57ºF to 68ºF over the course of it. The days get longer, too, bringing nearly 14 magical hours of daylight — such a welcome sight for sore eyes — there at the end. Best of all, April is the gateway to May — the most glorious month of the year. Does any of that sound cruel?
No.
You want cruel? Look out a window or open the door; January’s out there and it is beastly. The trees are bare. The landscape is bleak. Icicles dangle, winter’s own Swords of Damocles. Bleak and cheerless and bitterly cold, that’s January. The word comes from the Latin Januarius ‘(month) of Janus’, the Roman god who presided over doorways and beginnings. Yeah? Well, we need a better, more descriptive name. How about Ohgodno, from the Latin Ne Iterum, ‘not again?’
This is not the time to be starting a new year, boys and girls. Not the time, at all. We should be rolling bandages and stockpiling soup, hoarding firewood. We should pack up the babies and grab the old ladies — to quote the inimitable Mr. Neil Diamond. What we shouldn’t be doing is dropping balls in Times Square. C’mon, snap out of it.
By the way, how about a nice round of applause for my new copyright line? It’s making its 2014 debut. I remembered to change it, yay. Oh, right, and Happy New Year :o)
Copyright © 2014 Publikworks
¹Although he used the British spelling: cruellest. Granted, it looks meaner with two Ls, but, nope, still wrong.
²http://www.bartleby.com/201/1.html
the whirly girl 
18 responses to “: welcome to the cruelest month :”
I love winter. January exists to remind us we are alive!
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I’ll bet you live in Arizona : )
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Ha ha. Nope, Vermont.
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Oh, my. Well, hang on to your hat — the polar vortex will come your way when it’s done pounding us. Bundle up, Margaret.
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YOU are going to have a great year! I just know it! A great Big Doozy of a year.. and yes, i do agree, Plus december was pretty horrible this year too!! c
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Really? You think so? That would be awesome, celi. I hope you’re right. I wish the same for you.
No, December wasn’t any fun, was it? Have you healed yet?
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Yes, January “wins” as the cruelest. No snow here but oof, it’s gray and dreary. Snow might actually brighten things up a bit. I’m going to bed. Wake me up in June.
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Oh, no, you don’t. If I have to slog through it, you do, too. Misery loves company and all that.
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how can I get my own copyright?
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There are a number of ways, Fashionista. You can start by googling ‘copyright’. Several sites will provide you with the proper wording to put on your website or you can come up with your own. Or you can contact an attorney, one who’s familiar with the laws of intellectual property. Good luck.
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Thank you Publikworks!! and have a happy new year!!
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Thanks! You do the same.
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Jeez – no beauty in snow, icicles, etc? You must be from a warm weather area. :-)
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Oh, how I wish. I’m in Illinois and it’s bitterly cold. If snow fell when it was 80º, I’d be fine with it. I might even like it. But these single digit and below zero temperatures? No, sir.
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Gotcha. I lived in Chicago for a year that was brutal!
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And you survived? Wow, you must be Superman.
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Hahah, I just left IL for Iowa, and it’s so horrible! Although the ice from that ice storm before Christmas made for gorgeous pictures, it makes scraping the snow off the walks just that much worse. I’m seriously hating this weather. We’re up to 7 inches now!
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I’m right there with you, db. It’s snowing now. It snowed yesterday. It snowed last weekend. And next week is supposed to be below zero. Thankfully, I have the Economy size box of cocoa. Zip up, kiddo.
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