: the polar vortex :


Cold such as this defies description. You can’t see it or imagine it or protect yourself from it.

You want the ugly particulars? Fine, the temperature is 9 degrees Fahrenheit with a stiff 18 mph wind barreling out of the north. Did I mention it’s snowing? It is, it’s snowing. Hard. So the wind is driving billions of sharp, icy, stinging snowflakes into any exposed skin. It’s snow as shrapnel. I promise you, this weather is brutal and things’re only going to get worse.

Temperatures are expected to drop well below zero (18 degrees below to be precise) with “dangerous” wind chills in the -45 range, where they’ll stay awhile. Schools are closed until Wednesday, the library, too. But I’m expected to show up for work promptly at 8am. My car’s out there somewhere, buried under a thick, heavy mountain of snow. Maybe that will act as insulation against the wind. Who knows? I’ll need the key and a miracle to get it started in the morning.

Over the course of the day I’ve seen, maybe, half a dozen people outside. On foot. Those people are:
A) out of cigarettes
B) out of their minds
C) all of the above

The ones I’m worried about are the animals. Last night I spotted a bunny camped out under a picnic table in the yard. It was hunched into a tight, round ball of fur. What will happen to him and his friends? The birds and squirrels and chipmunks and foxes and deer? I wish I could invite them for a sleepover.

Chin up. This won’t last forever. The cold air will begin a slow retreat on Wednesday. By week’s end we’ll be back in the 30s. In the meantime, I’ve been wondering; where’s a tropical vortex? Why don’t we have one of those?

Copyright 2014 Publikworks

9 responses to “: the polar vortex :”

  1. I’m also terribly worried about the animals. I would take them all in if I could.


    1. Me, too. I hope the worst of it is over and we’ll all start to thaw out soon. I’m keeping an eye out for the picnic table bunny.


  2. So I have to know…did you actually get your car out? And more importantly, when are the Humanity Police coming to arrest the owners of the heartless business you work for?


    1. I did. It took forever, but I got it out. Work was a ghost town, though, so that was a happy surprise. Traffic was light, too, on snow-packed streets. But I survived. Yay.


  3. Hi there. I know that this type of mean and cruel comment is somewhat inevitable, so I’ll just take care of it right now:

    This afternoon, in sunny, 61-degree temperature California, I took my dog for a run in the park wearing shorts and a t-shirt.

    I’m sorry.


    1. No you’re not :0)


      1. You’re right. I’m not :)


  4. You took the words right out of my mouth.. or was that the icy wind.. horrible, just horrible.. oh and as an aside. i once saw a man in london after a good snow, when all the cars on the road had morphed into round inrecognisable lumps, early in the morning, walking down the road and crouching to clean the number plates of each car, one after the other.. he had forgotton where he parked and everything was covered in thick snow!! ha ha ha .. i laughed at him!! then went off to look for my own car!.. c


    1. I dread the thought of digging mine out in the morning. Just absolutely dread it.

      But the wind has to be worse for you guys. Yikes. Keep your head down and remember, spring will come again. Good luck, celi.


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