: money, boys and girls, is freedom :

image207bNothing is as life-enhancing as liquid assets. Nothing.

See, when you have money, you have options. The world is your oyster. You’re the one calling the shots, making the decisions, setting the course. Not fate or circumstances or need. You. Because you, my friend, are free — not trapped in a crummy job taking all kinds of crap.

Now, there are legions of well-intentioned, well-meaning people who will argue that you can’t buy happiness; that’s a falsehood. Oreos make me happy and I can buy those by the bagful. Often at a discount with double coupon savings. Happiness is indeed for sale, everywhere you look.

It may not be the kind of deep and fulfilling pleasure you’ll find in a good marriage or a rewarding career or an altruistic life, but fleeting, superficial happiness still counts as happiness. Even if it didn’t, wouldn’t piles of money provide for a pretty comfortable misery? I believe it would and I’m prepared to test the theory as soon as I find an investor, someone with the resources of, say, Mark Zuckerberg and the judgment of Homer Simpson.

To quote Dorothy Parker, ‘I’ve never been a millionaire but I just know I’d be darling at it.’ Truth be told, I’d probably be darlinger as a billionaire. Although darlingest as a zillionaire. Hey, I know, let’s find out how much oreoit takes to make me darling. A million? A billion? A zillion? A swanky beach house in the Seychelles? A Rolls Royce Phantom? The family size Double Stuff Oreos? What?

Please send a big, fat check to me, Lisa, at publikworks. In return, I’ll send you a lovely, sincere thank you note, handwritten and everything — suitable for framing. I’ll include pictures of me being darling at posh, luxurious locations around the globe. Aw, heck, I’ll throw in a free publikworks t-shirt besides.

Sound good?

Because if there’s one thing of which I’m certain, it’s this: being broke is a drag. And I’m beginning to suspect part-time, minimum wage gigs aren’t the road to riches we’re being told they are. Quelle surprise, eh?cartoon eyes

Copyright © 2014 Publikworks

22 thoughts on “: money, boys and girls, is freedom :

  1. If money can’t buy happiness, then why did I so thoroughly enjoy my interesting encounter at the lunch I paid for today? (If you are interested in hearing about it, feel free to come read about it).


  2. Yep, there’s just something about having enough income to keep a roof over your head. I know I’m a fan. Throw in the pocket change to cover Double Stuf Oreos and woof, there’s a little piece of heaven. Dare we aim even higher, like for a quart of milk for dunking?


    1. You? Milk? Who do you think you’re kidding, you wino you. Forget the roof, Jo, I want heat. And lots of it. I wish you could buy summer days, I’d buy those in bulk. At Sam’s Club. I’d be a hoarder.


    1. We are kindred spirits, Richard. Soulmates. I’d be perfectly content to wallow in fully-funded misery. With a pool, please — I’ll fill it with my tears.


  3. Money is a means to an end, sure. However, money is truly slavery. It’s possible to live without money, it’s just a different life style. I’ts possible to live *comfortably* without money, I mean. I think society depends far too much on it, see this coil as our ruler, and as a result, it’s how we are captured and controlled. But it is an extremely flawed system.
    I’m there with you though – minimum wage gigs are not fun, and are certainly not worth the compensation.


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