: now under new management :

There’s been a coup, ladies and gentlemen.


My brain, pictured above, has overthrown my thyroid, pictured below, and seized control of operations. Hey, don’t look at me; I’m just as surprised as you are. I had no idea this kind of brouhaha was going on and right under my nose, too. No, it was more behind and a little above my nose — one must be precise.


But the bigger news is, I’m free of that bossy little tyrant at last. Sure, the average thyroid gland weighs, what? 20 grams? Pipsqueak, right? Close, it’s an armored tank. It took nuclear medicine (that’s right, nuclear!) and two flipping years to shut that juggernaut down. It did not go quietly, I assure you. In fact, I’m still not confident it went at all. Hell, for all I know, my thyroid’s playing possum or waiting in the weeds or impersonating a brain. I don’t trust it.


What I do know is I can think again. I’ve been getting ideas lately — the executions are weak (read that as lame), but the ideas are okay. My memory is up and running. I can focus; I can concentrate. I’m fairly rusty, of course, but I should expect that, right? I mean, my brain sat idle for 10 or 15 years, it probably needs a chance to warm up. We all would.

Maybe I should caution you at this point, say something like ‘don’t expect a miracle.’ After all, I’m still the one holding the pencil and even on my best days I’m no Dorothy Parker. Shoot, I’m not even Fess Parker. What I’ve been calling ideas could actually be déjá vu or a bad burrito. So let’s not get all carried away here; let’s just wait and see.

While we’re waiting, I’d like to thank each one of you for your patience and indulgence. This can’t have been easy for you, either. A number of these posts were a tough slog, riddled with all kinds of nonsense and folderol, I know. And that’s what makes your sacrifice so noble — you soldiered on. Without complaint. You’re saints. May the Force be with you. Amen.


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10 responses to “: now under new management :”

  1. Haha this is great! I’m always up for a bit of thyroid humour, and yes, your execution is strong. Lets hope that thyroid stays overthrown, although knowing it will probably come back for a last hurrah. Keep all your weaponry at hand.

    – Rachel


    1. You have to laugh, don’t you? It’s so much better than crying. And I’m fully armed, butterfly. If it tries for a last hurrah I’ll give it both barrels! Ha!


  2. watch out for a puppet regime pw, they have a way of sneaking up behind you.


    1. Ooh, puppets. I love them. A puppet regime sounds fun.


      1. a muppet regime sounds more fun!




    1. Be glad, miguel. Brains can be very entertaining — sometimes. Good luck.


  4. As long as the new management comes with a quarrel full of quips, we’re good. *grin*

    Thy roid ahead looks smooth.


    1. The new management is, how should I put this?, enthusiastic. I liked the old management; they were drunks. We stuck raisins up their noses when they passed out. I’ll miss them.

      Look in your crystal ball, BD and tell me, does thy roid ahead have plenty of rest stops? Good to see you.


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