: thankful? me? ha, good one :

haThis hasn’t been my best year, ladies and gentlemen. No, this one officially qualifies as an ordeal. A tribulation (in theological terms). Oh, Hell, it’s an effing nightmare. I’ve been battered and trounced and kicked while I’m down. I’ve taken a pasting.

Yet here we are, on the brink of Thanksgiving, a day of celebration and the counting of blessings. So what am I supposed to do? I’ve nothing left to count. Should I give thanks for the case of shingles I got in October? For my squirmy, screeching upstairs neighbor? The totaled car? A flooded apartment? That kind of stuff? Fine, we’ll be here ‘til Christmas — Valentine’s Day, at the latest.

Wait, I do have one reason to thank my lucky stars. One very good, very compelling reason: I don’t live in Buffalo under seven flipping feet of snow. Hallelujah, thank you, Jesus.

Okay, I know, it’s already melted, but it was there. And it will be back. Again and again and again and again … I, however, will be here. In my own frozen Hellscape, sure, but minus the 84 horrifying inches of snow all at one time.

I can endure the subzero temperatures and the windshield scraping and the bitterly cold wind; I can abide the chapped lips and hat-hair; I can withstand carpet shocks and teeth chattering and, yes, even the violent shivering. But I draw the line at snow. Any snow. Even a flake.

Snow makes everything a job and a claustrophobic one, at that. The entire universe shrinks to the width of a cleared path or a plowed road wedged between towering piles of dirty snow. Normally a colorful and vibrant place, earth looks as barren and forbidding as deep space. And earthlings, that’s you and me, are forced to dress like space travelers — from the outsized headgear to the puffy boots — because of said crappy weather conditions.

So, I’m sorry, Buffalonians, but I’m glad I’m not you. Thrilled, really.

Now, here’s to an early and glorious spring for us all. A happy Thanksgiving, too.

turkey_chefCopyright © 2014 Publikworks

12 thoughts on “: thankful? me? ha, good one :

        1. You lucky dog! I’d give anything to live in Virginia — especially Richmond or Virginia Beach or Staunton or the Shenandoah Valley. I adore Virginia. And you’re pining for Buffalo? Oy. I’ll trade with you — Illinois is a lot like to Buffalo, I think.

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    1. But Scotland’s such a beautiful place. And I love the sweaters, they’re the best in the world. So there’s that going for it.

      Besides I don’t think I’d be happy anywhere except, maybe, the equator :o)

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  1. Here in southern Florida, even in 110 degree weather, I never hear anyone wish for snow. I guess the hate is almost universal. I’m originally from New Jersey & I’ve NEVER met a snowflake that I got along with.

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    1. What I don’t understand is how people can say they want snow on Christmas. Why? It’s messy, wet, ruins your shoes, and makes driving treacherous. What’s to like?

      Southern Florida? Did you have to rub it in?

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    1. Hi, from flat as a frozen pizza Illinois. The only time I don’t mind snow is in March and / or April — when I’m sure it won’t stick around for months on end. I agree, though, it’s pretty at Xmas, except it tends to linger long past Valentine’s. Gah!

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