Say what you will about the holidays, they’re expensive and exhausting and fattening, but they’re a welcome distraction.
See, the holidays keep us occupied, leaving time for little else. We plan and party and decorate, we hang our stockings and deck the halls and toast the New Year. Then, before we know it, poof, they’re gone. And what are we left with? Winter.
Cruel, isn’t it? Winter is nature’s way of pulling the rug out from under us. Heck, this isn’t a season, it’s a cage match — us against the elements. We don’t stand a chance.
Cold is a given, of course, the bone-chilling, teeth-chattering kind, but it’s the other stuff we need to worry about. The blizzards and polar vortexes and ice storms and power outages, things like that. We’ll be brought to our knees by this ordeal, ladies and gentlemen, and more than once.
Snowflakes by the zillions will fall on our heads, burying us and snarling traffic. Icicles will dangle perilously overhead, the wind will bring tears to our eyes, and we’ll face constant nuisances: static electricity, frozen car doors, hat hair, slippery sidewalks, windshield scraping, and on and on and on. The list is endless and wearying.
But take heart, winter can’t last forever. It might seem like it, but it can’t. The days are already growing longer and the earth inches closer to the sun. So keep your hat on. Your coat and gloves, too. And a muffler. Thermal underwear and wooly socks, a couple sweaters, ear muffs, and a forced air furnace will come in handy, as well.
If all else fails? Hibernate. And pray for an early spring.