Why not candy, like a normal person? Or liquor or swearing or Facebook, something ordinary and reasonable? Well, I considered that route, but no. This year, I picked God.
The whole religion thing is a quandary for me. I go back and forth, round and round. One day, oh, there’s a God, all right; He’s trying to kill me. The next, nah, there’s no God. The day after that, who cares, where’re the Cheetos? And so it goes.
I can’t reach a firm, lasting decision and I’ve no solid conviction either way. I’m not a believer. I’m not a non-believer. I’m not even a wait-and-seer. What I am, I suppose, is a ditherer. And I blame Santa Claus. As well as the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, the Pillsbury Dough Boy, Mary Poppins, the whole bunch. They were all phonies.
Santa was simply the tip of the iceberg. When he was pantsed as a fraud and an impostor, he took the others down with him. They fell like dominoes — leaving me shattered and bereft at six. To this day, I have trust issues. Big ones. Paranoia, that’s my constant companion. I don’t believe a word anyone says and I see ulterior motives everywhere.
God, if He exists (and I’m not saying He does, but I allow for the possibility here for the sake of argument), was an unintended, but inevitable victim. His very existence was brought into question as a direct result of those early delusions. Remember The Wizard of Oz? They finally, finally make it to Emerald City and what happens? “Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.”
Yeah, I’m not setting myself up for that again.
But what if I’m wrong, you know? I could be, I’ve been mistaken before. Then what? If there is a God, ipso facto there’s a Hell, too. And as much as I love a warm climate, Hell sounds decidedly unappealing. Lakes of fire and pitchforks are no substitutes for sandy beaches and rolling tides. Besides, if you don’t like the accommodations you can’t just pack up and move somewhere nicer. There are no upgrades in Hell. Are there? No, I’m sure not.
See the predicament? Am I overthinking? I do that sometimes, but just as often, and equally troubling, is my propensity to underthink. So, to be safe, I’m holding off on a final decision; I want to see how the Lent thing goes first. Feel free to check back on April 5th.
![bolt[1]](https://thewhirlygirly.files.wordpress.com/2015/02/bolt1.png)
If I don’t get struck by lightning in the meantime.
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the whirly girl 
8 responses to “: giving up god for lent :”
Not to add fuel to the fire, but isn’t the whole idea of Lent a religious/God thing to begin with? Don’t get me wrong, I am a born and bread Catholic who purposefully does NOT practice, and still gives up something for Lent every year. Why do we do this? Is it so engrained? Is it proof that it’s healthy to abstain? Do we like the challenge?
Sorry I have no answers, just more questions! Good luck with your Lenten Promise… may it bring you closer to God knows what.. ;)
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All good questions, excellent questions. At this point, I’ll settle for any half-witted answers, you know? Or a direction to look in to find my own. But, no, I’m still dithering. Oy.
Thanks for the support, I appreciate it :0)
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I know there isn’t a god. Of any kind.
But like you, I like to keep my options open and I’ve never been afraid to say I was wrong.
I’ll check back on the 5th of April. And I’ll bring fish.
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I wish I had your certainty, BD — one way or the other. I envy you. I think I lean toward there being a God, but if there is? I’m positive He’s out to get me.
I’ll look forward to seeing you on the 5th. I’ll bring the martinis :o)
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Reblogged this on realbobbi and commented:
An honest personal look into the God question
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No answers, just lots and lots of questions :o)
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That’ll definitely save you from a lot of horrible fish sandwiches.
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Ha, I hadn’t thought of that, but you’re right. No more Filet O’Fish at McDonald’s :o) Yay!
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