: to do list :

calendar_contrasttext separator_flourishWell, can you blame me? It’s a bad hair day; a terrible, horrible, awful bad hair day. I’ve reached the last of the clean underwear, too, the pair with no elastic in the legs. So, double whammy.

You know what it reminds me of, my hair? A toilet brush. Tell me the oven wouldn’t be your first thought, too. I didn’t plan to turn on the gas or anything, I just wanted to make the grand gesture, you know? Be a drama queen. Not so much Sylvia Plath as Dorothy Parker, totally campy. With Parker’s poem, Resumé, running through my head:

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren’t lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

Gazing at the oven racks and heating element, though, I found myself pining for oven cleaner. My bristly ‘do would’ve had that thing gleaming in no ti–

Hey, the sun’s out! Please disregard this notice. Have a good day!

toilet brush

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8 responses to “: to do list :”

  1. Sticking your head in an electric oven with dirty racks! Perfect.

    On a side note, if people think that depreciation of car values is bad, they should look at the drop in prices of brand new toilet brushes versus ones with only a few miles on them.


    1. Not only electric and in need of cleaning, it smelled of lasagna! I was so hungry there at the end.

      I heard the newer toilet brush designs hold their value longer and get better mileage, too.


  2. Brilliant!! :-)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Paul. You made my day :o)

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Portland and those pool boys and umbrellas above and in our drinks.. ah.. big aaahhh.. c

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’ll be the star there, too!


  3. God I hate it when my knickers lose their crutch .. I mean clutch.. we need to go shopping.. maybe next week. Underwear is over rated anyway!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’d love that, Celi, but the laundromat will have to do me for now. But one day I’ll be rich and I’m going to send us somewhere fabulous. And fun. And warm. With pool boys and umbrella drinks. You can tell me all about being the star of the WordPress Conference in Seattle :o)


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