Have you ever noticed how predicaments are usually described in food-related terms?
Well, they are. When you’ve screwed up, you’re said to be in a pickle or a stew, in a jam or a very sticky situation. Maybe because they sound non-threatening. Maybe because they’re considered messy. Except pickle, a pickle isn’t messy. A pickle is perfectly designed for its purpose — eating and enjoying. It’s not greasy or gooey. It doesn’t fall apart when you pick it up. It doesn’t end up on your tie. All right, it drips a little juice, big deal. Pickles are still a delight and shouldn’t be lumped in with ne’er do-wells like jams and stews.
So let’s stop using pickle in the pejorative sense. They’ve done nothing to deserve the label of ‘mess.’ Steaming pile, I propose we use that instead. Thank you — on behalf of the Pickle Defense League and gherkins everywhere.