Today? No one. Not if you plan to retain a hint of self-respect. You’ll need to be on your toes, sharp as a tack. You’ll need a discerning eye and a big dose of skepticism, too.
It’s April Fool’s Day, my friends, pranks and humiliation await. May I offer a few words of advice? Don’t believe anything you see or hear or read. Today is all about deception and feeling foolish. With luck and a miracle, you’ll escape with minimal damage to your pride. You’d better practice being doubtful and I’ve come to help.
Below are a number of statements, some fact and some fiction. The trick is to tell one from the other. Test yourself, how good are you at spotting deceit? Submit your answers in a comment; I’ll grade them and tell you exactly how well you did. Tomorrow. Ready?
Go!
Two Choices, True or False:
[1] It was 76ºF in Antarctica earlier this week.
[2] If you’re murdered in the U.S., there’s a one in two chance your killer will never be identified. So many of them hide.
[3] I, Lisa at publikworks, accepted a position as staff writer at The Onion in Chicago.
[4] A Cleveland woman stabbed her boyfriend (twice) for eating all the salsa. Police charged her with felonious assault. What felonious? He ate all the salsa.
[5] Apple Computers is in secret talks to acquire Applebee’s International. They plan to introduce iPads featuring iRoma, technology that enables diners to enjoy the savory aroma of select dishes while viewing the entrée in astonishing 3D.
Good luck, kids. Now I’m off to Florida for a week of well-deserved, long overdue vacation.*
Copyright © 2015 Publikworks
* Wait, you fell for that? Oy, you’re in for a long day, kiddo. I’m headed to Starbucks and a wi-fi connection.
the whirly girl 
5 responses to “: who are you going to believe? :”
Very funny! I am taking test out of order.
I have FELT like stabbing people in my family when the eat all the salsa. This must be TRUE.
I hope I don’t get murdered in the US or anywhere for that matter, but if I do, check with my family first. I am usually the one who eats all the salsa. But they are all good hiders. So TRUE.
Does 76 degrees in Antarctica mean that icebergs will soon shove Central and South America into North America which could mean more salsa in Washington State because of Texas and Mexico being closer? I say TRUE then.
Virtual salsa at Applebees…bleah…has to be FALSE.
I hope you got the new job. I vote TRUE. If this would be a GOOD thing. Otherwise: FALSE. I’m wishy washy on this one.
You are very funny. LOVE your blog. Glad I found you!
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Why, thanks, but you’re funnier than I am, peaceof8. By lots! So I’m glad you found me, too — I can always use a good laugh.
The salsa question is the only true statement. Everything else was a bald-faced lie. It only reached 63º in Antarctica; there’s a 1 in 3 chance the murderer won’t be caught; they haven’t offered me one; true; false, thank goodness, the thought of iRoma or smell-o-vision is a little revolting.
I’ll be watching for you :o)
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#1 – If that were true that would be pretty neat! But I suspect it’s not.
#2 – Sounds depressing enough to be true.
#3 – If that is true, that’s exciting and I’m very happy for you!
#4 – As believable as I think it is that someone would get stabbed for eating all the salsa, and as much as I would underscore that eating all the salsa is, in fact, a very serious offense, I don’t believe that law enforcement would consider it a good reason to stab someone.
#5 – Clearly those talks aren’t very secret if you know about them!
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Tune in tomorrow to see how accurate you were. If I tell you now, everyone will know the answers. And thank you for playing along. You’re the best :o)
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Okay, AthenaC, the wait is over. You did pretty good.
The salsa question was the only true statement. Everything else was a big, fat lie. It only reached 63º in Antarctica; there’s a 1 in 3 chance the murderer won’t be caught; sadly, they didn’t offer me one; 100% true, she actually stabbed him twice; false, thank goodness, the thought of iRoma or smell-o-vision is a little revolting.
You’ve been a really good sport, thanks for taking to time :o)
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