: nun’s farts and spotted dick :

unsureReally? On a Sunday? Nun’s farts? I ought to be ashamed of myself, stooping to such childish behavior, but, no, I’m good. Nun’s farts (pets de nonne) and spotted dick (spotted dick) aren’t what you expect. Not even close.

They’re desserts. The fancy kind. Well, maybe not the spotted dick so much, but the nun’s farts are pastrypretty hoity-toity. Being French and all. One’s a pastry and one’s a pudding. Yes, the one’s French, but the other’s strictly English. And both are flipping hilarious. Imagine asking for one, out loud, in a restaurant. The thought reduces you to a third grader, doesn’t it? Drunk and giddy on inappropriate language.

Why is that still fun? We’re grown-ups, what’s the big thrill? We use vulgar, profane language like longshoremen, but spotted dick sends us into hysterics. Why? Well, it’s an involuntary reaction, we just dissolve in helpless mirth, giggling and hooting. There’s no explanation; we’re simply immature, that’s all. Stuck in the awkward stage — mentally.

puddingAt the mention of spotted dick, an unfortunate skin condition springs to mind with a vivid mental image. And it’s not a pudding, nor is it welcome on the dinner table. Not in polite society, anyway. Nun’s farts are plain blasphemous, flat-out wrong on so many levels. It goes against all that’s holy and sacred for a double-barreled laugh. Nuns? Flatulent? Go wash your mouth out. Fine, but shouldn’t we taste them first? They smell heavenly, mmm.

It’s not just the dessert world, either. Nature’s packed with wildly funny names. Take birds. Have you seen the American Bushtit or the Blue-Footed Booby? How about the Hairy Woodpecker? Don’t miss Clark’s Nutcracker, the Dickcissel and Woodcock. Hoohahahahahahahahahahahahahahah, stop, I can’t breathe.

booby

I so love words.

Copyright © 2015 Publikworks

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18 Responses to “: nun’s farts and spotted dick :”

    • publikworks

      Thanks, 1 earth, this was fun to work on. Do you mind if I ask a question? Does Heinz Spotted Dick go over well anywhere? It seems awfully reminiscent of Spam. Maybe it’s just because it’s canned and weird, though.

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      • 1EarthUnited

        i’m from the states, so anything called “spotted dick” is not gonna be well received. i would get a can as a novelty, surprisingly SPAM does sell well here. in general, any canned is kinda nasty, in my opinion.
        i’ve tried suet (sweet) pudding and it’s quite good as a dessert!

        Liked by 1 person

        • publikworks

          Hi, 1Earth! I think I’d eat the Spotted Dick before the SPAM. The slime in the SPAM can is just too off-putting and the feverish pink color — sends a shiver through me. What is it, anyway? A block of bologna? I’m from the US, too, and have no idea.

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        • publikworks

          You know, even googling ‘pink slime’ is closer than I want to get. Like you said, it’s revolting. bleccch

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  1. Basil Rene

    People in the U.S. are not familiar with spotted dick and one day I went to massage school and loudly proclaimed that “Heinz has spotted dick in a can at the British store! I don’t know why I am excited that I saw spotted dick, because I don’t really like spotted dick!” I got some really strange looks.

    Liked by 1 person

    • publikworks

      Haha! Too funny. Spotted Dick in a can! There’s an image you won’t soon forget. I’m still astonished it’s the name of a pudding.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. pegoleg

    The name “spotted dick” is hysterical. But I think it loses something in the translation,”spotted dick.”

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    • publikworks

      I was afraid of that. I’m not fluent in British English and it shows. I’m so sorry — I should take a class.

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  3. letbleepinghogspie00

    Now that you mention it, even Woodpecker sounds vaguely dirty to me.

    Oh well, at least now I have a reason to chuckle when someone mentions it ! And when they ask me why I’m chuckling, I’ll say, ‘Oh nothing, just something I read the other day.’ :D

    Also, I always thought the Australian bird Kookaburra has a pretty groovy name. Just a little tidbit.

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    • publikworks

      Kookaburra is a great name! Australians have an absolute gift for language, I swear. They’re geniuses with words. And you’re right, woodpecker sounds more than a little suggestive :o)

      Liked by 1 person

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