Ladies and gentlemen, something has come unraveled. And I’m afraid it’s, you know, me.
Guess what I found myself doing yesterday. Straightening the magazines at Barnes & Noble. And that was after I’d sorted out the greeting card mess. Behavior like this is a symptom, isn’t it? Of OCD or something worse. Maybe not the obsessive part so much, but the compulsive has certainly manifested itself. I believe this is a cause for concern. Worry, even. A little early for panic, though.
The tendency’s always been there, I suppose. I just didn’t recognize it as a serious issue, a crippling affliction. Until yesterday. Standing there in Barnes & Noble. Magazines in hand. That’s when it hit me: I’m Adrian Monk. How did this happen? When? Why?
As the full extent of my disorder dawned on me, I realized I’ve been doing this stuff for quite a while. Straightening things. Things that are not mine. Things whose neatness and order should not concern me. But does, a lot. I straighten t-shirts at the Gap. I put books in proper alphabetical order at the library. Straighten the pictures in doctor’s examining rooms. Tidy up at the laundromat. It’s a full-blown sickness.
You’ve heard the expression, ‘a clean desk is the sign of a sick mind,’ right? Well, tada.
Wouldn’t this make a fine exhibit at a psychiatry seminar? And let’s not forget my closet. I shouldn’t be telling you all this — I’ll wind up in bed restraints.
Maybe a call to a professional is in order here? No. No, bad idea. I’d spend the whole afternoon cleaning fingerprints off my damn cell phone.
Paging Dr. Freud, Dr. Sigmund Freud.
Copyright © 2015 Publikworks
the whirly girl 
16 responses to “: uh-oh, here’s a red flag :”
Reblogged this on madedootter.
LikeLike
Who’s to say the likes of you and, ahem, me aren’t actually the ones who are ‘normal’? And that it’s the rest of the world with it’s desks in disarray and it’s shirts hanging in the closet that aren’t arranged according to increasing intensity of color, that is really the one that’s strange? Huh?
Psshhh, don’t fret, WE are the dawn of a new civilization. A slightly neurotic and fidgety civilization maybe, but yes, the future essentially is in our hands.
That reminds me it’s time for me to go check all the supplies in my post-apocalyptic bunker are stocked based on expiry date.
LikeLiked by 1 person
We’re just making the world a neater, more organized place, right? It could benefit from a little straightening around, I’m just not sure I’m the best person to do it :o)
LikeLiked by 1 person
There’s nothing wrong with you, you’re fine. Oh wait, you don’t actually work at Barnes and Noble or the Gap? Okay, maybe a little medication is in order, or some job applications.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Probably both, Dave. It was a shock, though, realizing I’m not the well-adjusted individual I’d always assumed myself to be. Hehehehe, as if.
LikeLike
You’re well-adjusted, it’s those damn periodicals and romance novels that needed the straightening up!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Fantastic read! Thank you! :-)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Impeccable timing, tk! I’d started to wonder if this was a bad idea. You know how it is.
So thanks. And you’re very welcome, of course.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, I know exactly what you mean! My tablet has been trying to prevent me from typing lately, so I’m glad I was able to let you know your post was very good! :-)
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m awfully glad your tablet cooperated, too. You’re sweet.
LikeLiked by 1 person
And breath!
You’re fine dear, nothing to worry about at all. Your mouse is placed at neither a 90 degree, nor 45 degree angle – and I’m pretty sure I can see two pencils in your pen pot that aren’t the same length. Just the right level of neuroses methinks.
Though you must have had a lot of time on your hands to alphabetise the entire library… ? Or was it just the one shelf?
LikeLiked by 2 people
Really? This isn’t extreme? It seems extreme. But, thanks, I feel better now :o)
I’m happy to report I don’t do the whole library. Just the shelf where I’m looking, but I do it every flipping time I look for a book. Those people are not at all familiar with alphabetizing. sheesh.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Meh. A little kooky perhaps. But from one fruitloop to another – we’re what make the world interesting!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Kooky I can live with. Deranged, no. Interesting and alphabetical, yes?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh no. Definitely not deranged. ‘Interesting and alphabetical’ sounds like a very concise, yet enticing personal ad. Coupled with your GSOH, you’re golden.
Long live kooky!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’ll drink to that :o)
Thanks, Jess
LikeLiked by 1 person