: a tutorial on punctuation day :


Be honest. Doesn’t the exclamation mark look like a middle finger there? Sorry, it wasn’t intentional, but that’s what happens when you use lurid punctuation.

Welcome to National Punctuation Day.

And on this very auspicious occasion, please allow me to relate a cautionary tale. One that involves the misuse of the little marks with the great big job.

Waiting to deposit a check at the drive-thru I glimpsed a sign in the window. ‘Earn this rate of return,’ it advertised. A second, more deliberate look showed a laughable 1.55%! on a 39-month Certificate of Deposit. Me? I wouldn’t have had the cojones to advertise that. It reads like a punch line. Or a scam. Or a Candid Camera bit.

How do advertisers get away with it? Excellent question, class. That 1.55% is not supposed to register or sink in on a conscious level. And it usually doesn’t. We’re blinded by the exclamation point! It’s strategically and purposely deployed to befog and distract the very susceptible mind of the average consumer. On its own, 1.55% is a meaningless collection of numbers. Add the exclamation and, whoa, 1.55%! represents a bonanza in the dull, listless eyes of John Q. Public.

Am I kidding? Does this stuff really work? Yep.

People don’t think, details give us a headache, and we have no attention span. Something shiny catches our eye and, wheee, our minds wander away.  Besides, what’s the difference? It’s a number; one’s the same as another. And they’re all confusing — who has the energy to figure them out? An exclamation point, though, woo — that’s big and exciting and easy to understand. We’re gonna be rich. What’s a Certificate of Deposit?

So where does the fault lie? Well, you’re a grown-up, draw your own conclusions. Just bear in mind, there’s a reason for obnoxious, perky punctuation and it isn’t to clarify!


copyright © 2015 publikworks

16 responses to “: a tutorial on punctuation day :”

  1. It is amazing how a little line and a dot can liven up even the most boring statement, isn’t it?

    A cup of tea.

    A cup of tea!

    They’re really quite different.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is! Worst of all, I’m starting to use it! And I despise the stoopid thing, dammit!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m not sure about you, but I’ve found writing comments on blogs has played havoc with my punctuation. I’ve always been taught to treat exclamation marks with extreme caution, but I seem to use them after almost every sentence nowadays! Like this! See! I also drop two or three of these fellows :) :( ;) :D into every comment too. Some themes automatically change the characters I type into smileys and some don’t, leaving my message even more full of cryptic gibberish than usual.


        1. I’m a punctuation snob. Or used to be. I still think exclamation points are the devil’s handiwork, but I, too, use them in comments now. And it chaps my cheeks. On the other hand, I’m very free with the smiley emoticons — they seem so kitschy and quirky. I have very complicated rules even I don’t understand. Or follow consistently :0\

          Liked by 1 person

          1. They really are like rabbits, though, aren’t they? You start with ! Then you have !! And before you know it, all you can see is !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


            1. Exactly!!!!!! Terrific analogy, bun. Or is that a metaphor?

              Liked by 1 person

              1. I think that one’s a simile! On no!! It’s starting again!!!!


  2. ban punctuation i say it is the mark of the beast winksmileyface

    Liked by 2 people

    1. But. But. B-but what would we do without periods and question marks? Just keep going? Well okay fine by me but I will need to rest up firzzzzzz

      Liked by 1 person

      1. punctuationisevilbutthenextstepisriddingourselvesofunnecessaryspaces


        1. ohgodnowehavetokeepthespacesreadingwillrequirecodebreakingskillsotherwiseimnotthatsmart


            1. okay, now you’re just grunting. Vowels what?


              1. ‘Vowels after that’

                just like the (not-so-good) old days of Latin, Aramaic… God, I love punctuation.


                1. Ha, you’re too funny. I’d probably like it more if I understood it.


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