Firefox, you see, has issues with my theme. Again or still, it’s hard to tell. Firefox has had issues with my last three themes and the stress has taken a toll — I’m bald now. Almost. In theory. Fine, I haven’t pulled out every last hair, but that browser does give me headaches. Hives. A persistent ringing in the ears.
So you know what I did? I deleted the damn application. Just dragged it out of the application folder and trashed that mother. It felt good, too. Maybe not as good as feeding it to a shredder, but still very satisfying. Later, I felt bad and was beset with second thoughts. In hindsight, it’s conceivable I overreacted.
Well, so what, trashing Firefox isn’t the worst mistake ever. It’s not even in the Top 500; I can fix the damage. All I had to do was download a fresh copy with Safari. The whole thing, start to finish, took four minutes and went off without a hitch. Except it won’t open, says my profile may be missing or inaccessible.
Hmm, question: why do I need a profile to use Firefox? Why does anyone, for that matter? Seems oddly meddlesome, but then I’m paranoid. Do I fill out an application, submit DNA? Is there a screening process? Patriot Act requirements?
I googled the error message, applied the recommended fixes — which did nothing — and called it quits. That’s it, I’m done. Firefox and I are kaput. Who needs a bomb-thrower when there are other, agreeable, options? My theme works with an ancient, doddering Safari and an aging Chrome, so Firefox can go pound sand. I’m through.
Ready for a nugget of wisdom? Life is sweeter when your undies aren’t in a bunch. How’s that for a dazzling truth, eh?
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