Frequent readers are familiar with my deep and abiding love for summer. I donβt knock it. Not under any circumstances. I donβt complain of the heat. Or the humidity. Or the bugs. Or sticking fast to furniture. In my eyes, itβs all wonderful. To criticize would amount to blasphemy.
There is, however, one teeny-weeny fly in the ointment*: feet. Theyβre everywhere these warm, sunny days, except tied up tight in a pair of shoes.
And theyβre very unsightly. People, women especially, go to great lengths to make their feet more presentable and attractive for the summer months. βTis the season for strappy sandals and flip-flops and open-toed heels, after all. So they polish and pumice and moisturize, they put on ankle bracelets and toe rings and tattoos; they get pedicures, for peteβs sake.
Surrender, Dorothy. No amount of nail polish will disguise the fact those things down there are feet. With toes. Shoot, if you look close enough, something I strongly advice against, youβll find a variety of unsightly bumps and knobs and scaly crud, such as bunions, corns, calluses, blisters, assorted fungi, rashes, and hammer toes. Please, Iβm begging you, put on some shoes. No one enjoys seeing that stuff.
Probably the most disturbing aspect of feet is their unnatural, pasty color. Theyβre a ghastly, bloodless white, with a glow like a mood ring. Or veal. I guess you have to feel kind of sorry for them. I mean, they rarely see the light of day or feel the wind in their toe hair; they just go where theyβre told. Think about it, whenβs the last time you let your feet run free?
We should let them out more and I would if they werenβt so homely. My second toes, for instance, are longer than my big toes. I will not showcase such weird defects in a pair of sensational, eye-catching sandals. People would point and laugh. Iβd blush like a stoplight and flee. Even so, I appreciate my feet, they do a fine job of hauling me around — even when theyβre hot and tired and yearning to breathe free.
Babies have adorable feet. Little kids do, too. People over the age of 35 donβt — unless they happen to spend their summer at a pool or a beach, as a lifeguard or surfer or beachcomber. Those folks have suntanned tootsies, the only kind that look good in flip-flops or strappy sandals or stark naked. The sun may cause wrinkles and premature aging and skin cancer, but it sure makes your feet look great. Β Β
copyright Β© 2016 the whirly girl
*Yes, this is a reblog from 2014, eons in Internet years. I apologize justΒ the same. Sure,Β my shoulder is still banged up and painful, but that’s no excuse. Typing isn’t strenuous. Thinking, yes; typing, no.
On a positive note, the bruises haveΒ fadedΒ to a bilious yellow and eggplant purple. The staples and suturesΒ came outΒ on Wednesday, so IΒ am 100%Β free of medical toolsΒ and devices and bandages. Except for the slingΒ and, uh, pain medication. Yay!
Back soonΒ —Β unless myΒ hapless streak continues. Oy.
16 responses to “: the scourge of summer :”
I swear my feet glow in the dark. I’ve been walking 5 miles every morning and as a result I have one of the best tans I’ve ever had. Except my feet. Which are well clad. There is a distinct line from where my socks land. Everyone thinks it’s pretty funny. Not me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You know what we need? Transparent shoes. We’d never suffer the indignity of fish-belly-white feet again. Let’s try to patent the idea and become billionaires.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wouldn’t that be like…Cinderella’s glass slipper?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hahaha, it would. But flexible. And shatterproof.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Just too lazy to put nail polish on my toes, never ever had a pedicure done- I prefer shoes to flip flops no matter what season it is!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m with you.
Nail polish is great, but it’s so high maintenance. Nails, too. I prefer socks to shoes, but finally buckled to withering social pressure and wear the damn shoes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is amazing ππ
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow, thanks! I feel better already :o)
LikeLiked by 1 person
No problem π
LikeLiked by 1 person
I just started my blog where I am going to post daily about men’s lifestyle and style tips so I will love it if you can give me a follow and some support π and please check me on Instagram @theyounggentlemanxo π You can also check my last post and answer the question of the day, it will be much appreciated ππ
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good luck, you’re a natural!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks π
LikeLiked by 1 person
:o)
LikeLiked by 1 person
I was just wondering how your wounds are healing and up pops this blog alert. Glad you’re doing okay…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ll be honest, I miss the morphine drip. My shoulder is killing me. Ai-yi-yi.
LikeLike
So sorryπ€
LikeLiked by 1 person