The dude’s made no contribution to anything; he hasn’t served in the military (five deferments: four for college and one for, get this, bad feet), doesn’t pay taxes, stiffs creditors and employees for personal gain, lashes out wildly at perceived snubs and slights — both real and imagined — and has an iffy grasp on reality.
He’s working to make America great again, all right, by conjuring conspiracies out of thin air; spotting bogeymen and cataclysm where none exist. Trump is the terrorist we need to fear; he unleashes the worst in all of us. Please, please, please, don’t vote for him.
But, for God’s sake, do vote. If no one on the ballot appeals to you, write in a candidate. Your neighbor or Homer Simpson, your barber, the babysitter, Nixon, anybody but Donald Trump. I’ll be voting for Tom Hanks, myself — I can’t imagine a more dignified, respectable, clear-eyed human being than he. David Letterman will be his vice-presidential running mate. Don’t you think we deserve a good laugh after this debacle? And a totally different perspective?
Fine, then join me in the voting booth on November whatever — the 8th, there, I googled. Together, we’ll keep America out of the hands of a dangerous, short-fingered, delusional nutjob. Thank you.
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