Why not candy, like a normal person? Or Coca-Cola or swearing or the Internet, something practical and a genuine sacrifice? I considered that route, but no. This year, I picked God.
The whole religion thing is a quandary. I go back and forth, round and round. One day, oh, there’s a God, all right, and He doesn’t think I’m funny at all. The next, nah, there’s no God. The day after that, God who? And on it goes.
I’m unable to reach a firm, lasting decision and I’ve no solid conviction either way. I’m not a believer. I’m not a non-believer. I’m not even a wait-and-seer. What I am, I suppose, is a ditherer. And I blame Santa Claus. Along with the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, Wonder Woman, Curious George, the whole bunch. They were all phonies.
Santa was simply the tip of the iceberg. When he was pantsed as a fraud and an impostor, he took the others down with him. They fell like dominoes — leaving me shattered and bereft at six. To this day, I have trust issues. Big ones. Paranoia is my constant companion. I don’t believe a word anyone says and I see ulterior motives everywhere.
God, if He exists, was an unintended, but inevitable victim. His very existence was brought into question as a direct result of those early delusions. Remember The Wizard of Oz? They finally, finally reach Emerald City and what happens? “Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.”
Yeah, I’m not setting myself up for that again.
But what if I’m wrong, you know? I could be. Then what? If there’s a God, ipso facto there’s a Hell, too. And as much as I love a warm climate, Hell doesn’t sound appealing. Lakes of fire and pointy pitchforks are no substitutes for sandy beaches and rolling tides. There aren’t any upgrades, either. If you don’t like the accommodations, tough noogies; you can’t just pack up and move to a nicer place.
Even Einstein believed in God, just not one concerned with the fate and monkey business of individuals. Einstein found God in the intricate and glorious and deeply mysterious workings of the universe. A world of infinite wonder only a supreme being could create. As he said, ‘science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.’
So see my predicament? Am I overthinking? I do that sometimes, but I’m more prone to underthinking. So, to be safe, I’m holding off on a final decision; let’s see how the Lent thing goes first. ¹
If I don’t get struck by lightning in the meantime.
copyright © 2017 the whirly girl
¹ This is a reblog from 2015, so I’m pleased to announce things worked out all right. I’m still here and I gave up Chips Ahoy Thins this time. I don’t expect any trouble.
the whirly girl 
17 responses to “: giving up god for lent :”
I sometimes lean toward the same feeling….but then I see a newborn baby and think with the state that mankind is in these days….there must be something more powerful than us who showers us with the beauty of a child.
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What a lovely thought. Thank you.
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I had never heard that Einstein quote before but it is a great one. Thanks for sharing.
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My pleasure! The guy had a way with words, didn’t he? :o)
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I’m with Einstein on this one. Although, there are times I could use a little less science. I’m glad you found your way back to the “Big Guy”.
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I’m in the Einstein camp, as well (we also share hairdos and a similar fashion sense). And I’m with you on science, we need to let some things remain a mystery.
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I think everyone goes through times where they wonder if God is really there – even the most religious. Even the smartest philosophical minds who know, intellectually, that God is there – they still feel very distant sometimes. So you’re completely normal on that one.
P.S. So glad to see you haven’t been struck by lightning … yet. ;)
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The biggest trouble I have is syncing my head with my heart. They want to go their separate ways and I’m trapped in the middle trying to referee. Neither one listens to reason.
I love your PS :o/
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Sadly, I still like to believe that on Christmas Eve Santa still roams the skies. I find it so hard not to believe. Love your posts, you are hilarious
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Okay, that’s eerie. Every single Christmas Eve of my lifetime I wind up standing at a window or in a yard, scanning the sky for Santa’s silhouette. It’s stupid and pointless, but I can’t shake that one silly, stubborn hope.
And, thanks, Kooky, but you have me way beat in the funny department. Way, way beat!
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I will think of you on Christmas Eve then, both of us barking mad searching for the jolly fat man. You are way too kind but thank you.
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What an image you’ve planted in my head :o)
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:)
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Have you heard of Pascal’s Wager? It gets at what you are describing in this post. ;)
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I hadn’t, so I googled it. You’re right, I’m anxious to take a closer look at Pascal’s theory. Thanks :o)
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Well Whirly that was another amusing pondering. I do fully believe in God although the whole Santa thing still has me miffed a bit. Good luck with lent, although I gave up superstition for it.
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Thanks, I envy your certainty. And, yep, I’m with you on the Santa business.
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