: um, shouldn’t I be dead for this?



Nope. Turns out heaven is pretty flexible about the whole death thing. I’m allowed to visit whenever I want, because it’s conveniently located on my balcony.

I just sashay out and take a seat. No one asks to check my pulse. No one gives me a second look. I sit around in boxer shorts and a t-shirt and loiter to my heart’s content. My hair isn’t combed; I’m not always showered; I’m usually barefoot and I’ve never heard a complaint. Not one. If that isn’t paradise, what is?

Okay, sure, maybe Barnes and Noble. Maybe Starbucks. But they have dress codes.

See the feet? Those are mine on my latest visit to heaven. I was having coffee with Andrea Bocelli, if you must know. I played a little air cello, too, with none other than Yo-Yo Ma. And it was every bit the nirvana you’d imagine — warm and sunny, great music, non-judgmental.  There is one letdown, however: heaven is a self-serve operation.

I was shocked. I expected a lady-in-waiting or an accommodating waiter, at the very least. But no, I had to fend for myself, so the food was terrible. The surroundings, happily, more than made up for the burnt toast and stale cereal. It was absolutely, positively blissful and I’m not overstating. The weather, the birds, the breeze, the panoramic view, even the quiet hum of traffic was a delight.

Now, I don’t know how I managed to stumble into this place, but I have and I plan on wearing out my welcome. They’ll have to carry me out of here feet first or in handcuffs. Either way, I’ll put up a helluva fight. Consider yourself warned.

copyright © 2017 the whirly girl

35 responses to “: um, shouldn’t I be dead for this?”

  1. though I’m not a fan of socks, your heaven really sounds…. well, heavenly! :)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I wondered if it was a dream. So I visited again this a.m. and, yep, it’s as fabulous as I remembered. Woohoo 🏖

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m glad! no. scratch that… envious would be more like it

        Like

        1. Stop by, there’s plenty of room :o)

          Liked by 1 person

  2. Near Vana, by the sounds of it, which is close enough!

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    1. Not just near Vana, it is Vana 😉.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I just sent off for a brochure …

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Ooh, yay, let’s be neighbors 👫

          Liked by 1 person

  3. very nice piece!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, I appreciate that ☺️

      Like

  4. Truer words have never, ever been spoken. I’m just cheesed I didn’t think of them ☺️

    Like

  5. you don’t need to die to be in heaven. some comfy socks and you’re already there.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. It’s always nice to have your own little piece of heaven.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Digging the socks… They only enhance the view on a lovely sunny day.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Not to mention the comfort!

      I need to confess here: socks are my biggest weakness. I love them and don’t even try to resist their powerful and very seductive lure 😍

      Like

  8. Love this piece, right up my street :-) delightful!

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    1. Woohoo, thanks! 😉

      Like

  9. I know for a fact that heaven offers comfy socks…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yay! It just wouldn’t be heaven without big, thick, comfy socks, would it? 👏

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      1. and pillows… don’t forget the pillows.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Well, now you’re in seventh heaven territory :o)

          Liked by 1 person

  10. So that’s where heaven went! I swear it was over here (the UK) last week. Oh well, I guess it will be my turn again soon enough …

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, I guarantee it. Luck visits for a minute, yanks the rug out from under me, and moves on. It’s just about due to head your way 😯

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Oh wow. You have found a good home. I love that you’re up there like a bird in the trees.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I certainly have. 🌃 After 12 long years of rolling catastrophes, I was presented with a gracious and unexpected miracle. I don’t deserve it, but I’ll keep that to myself.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Didn’t you know…?
    Heaven’s always been a self-serve sort of place…
    Can’t even get a reliable cabbie to take you there…

    … gotta get yourself there…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s the thing, I can’t figure out how I slipped through. Some kind of mix-up in the paperwork, I’m sure. Yay 🎟

      Liked by 1 person

  13. I love this; your contentment and cheekiness is shining like a halo… 😊

    Liked by 2 people

    1. “… your contentment and cheekiness is shining like a halo…
      I see what you did there…
      😉

      Liked by 2 people

    2. Aw, thanks. Sadly, my love for cheeky disqualified me from halo status decades ago. I think I’m destined for the smoking section. I am deeply contented, though 👩🏻‍💻

      Liked by 2 people

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