It was, appropriately enough, exactly one year ago: Independence Day, 2016.
I set off a dazzling display the likes of which I’d never before seen — stars and colors and kabooms — simply by crashing my bike into a tunnel wall. The sudden impact of head meeting concrete triggered a private Big Bang event you can’t imagine. My world burst into a shower of bright, sparkly, shooting stars and careening galaxies. I heard birds, too, cuckoos, I think. And I was stupefied, either by the glitziness of the spectacle or the pain, it was hard to tell.
Did you know you can hear bones break? You can and I did. Stepping on a breadstick, that’s how it sounded, but it felt like being impaled on a fence. So I sat very quietly, unblinking, and bled onto my t-shirt, my bicycle, my shorts and shoes, waiting for my friend to return with the car. I entertained myself with thoughts of the Three Stooges and Christopher Reeve and being bedridden.
Finally, after my friend strapped the bikes to the carrier, I very carefully squirmed into the passenger seat and pleaded to go home; he took me to the hospital, instead. You think you know somebody, right? Dirty sneak.
Thus began my 9-day odyssey tethered to a chest tube (punctured lung), morphine drip (broken shoulder and rib), IV (standard procedure), and leg compression (circulation). So the next time you’re cautioned to have a safe Fourth of July celebration, pay attention. I promise, the consequences of ignoring logic, reason and gravity are incredibly, horribly painful.
Please, use a little common sense and remember: life isn’t an episode of Jackass.
copyright © 2017 the whirly girl
the whirly girl 
30 responses to “: the day I became a firework :”
You’re such a good story teller.
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Oops, I didn’t mean I thought you weren’t telling the truth. What I mean is you tell the truth in a riveting way.
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I knew that 🙃
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You’re such a good friend 😇
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Oho weird article!
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Thanks, I’ll take that as a compliment 😉
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Goodluck
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Yes, sure its a compliment ☺
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😉
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Ouch! Hope this year’s celebration went better! :D
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It did! I wasn’t a firework this time, just a happy bystander :o)
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Oh yikes! Btw I was wondering if you’d be cool with me mentioning your Trump post on my blog? That day was legit filled with Trump related conversations and yeah. If not, all good! xx
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Sure, of course, and any time. Personally, I’m trying to pretend he got mad and ran away. Delusions are so darn helpful sometimes 😜
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Thanks so much! Ah yep good old delusions x
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I just discovered this blog!! And yikes!! I ran my bike into a stop sign once, but I luckily only ended up humiliated. Hope you had a safe fourth!!
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Welcome to the neighborhood, I’m so glad you stopped by!
Yeah, did I forget to mention embarrassed in the laundry list of injuries? There was that, too. What made the accident so bad was tearing around a sharp corner without using the brakes or good aim or any common sense.
I did have a safe and fun holiday this year. I hope you did, as well. Come back again sometime!
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Ouch! Hope you’re fully recovered now, and that this year’s celebrations went off a lot better, a lot easier and, more importantly, painlessly. x
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Aw, thanks :o) This year’s celebration was terrific. I and a couple friends watched the fireworks from my balcony. Which was a considerable improvement over last year’s chest tube insertion! Hope yours was great, too 🙃
PS. Your pets are adorable!
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Every time I have ridden a bike as an adult, I have crashed into something. I haven’t been hospitalized though. Glad you’ve recovered.
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You don’t know what you’re missing. It’s fun and you get to meet lots of new people: good samaritans and nurses, x-ray technicians, doctors, physical therapists, more doctors, all sorts of nice people.
To my great relief, I’m fully recovered and I’ve moved on to foot and knee injuries. Walking isn’t as easy as it looks … 🚶🏻♀️
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I thought people only made up this ‘seeing stars and birdies’ thingy from Tom and Jerry perhaps! But now, I think there must be at least some truth behind it
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You know, now that you mention it, the whole thing was pretty cartoonish. Running into a wall? 🙄
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Oh I know all about it. I once ran into a pole….. At a wedding party…. In front of a gazillion family members and friends!
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The key word there is ‘once.’ I lost count years ago, somewhere in the low thousands, I think 🤷🏻♀️
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:D
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Hey, look…
Stars…
Ready when you are, Raul…
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No fair! This won’t play. It says I’m not authorized or some such nonsense. I’ll show them, I’ll try on my computer tomorrow. nert nert nert
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I so 💝 that, especially the Suck-o-Lux. You made my week, thank you, you genius you❣️
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Yikes!
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That’s what I said. Almost🗯 🤕
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