: ivanka sits in for whirly :

Hi! Due to other, more pressing, obligations, whirly needed to step away from her duties and asked me to fill in during her absence. So here I am, sitting and posing in all my cosmetic splendor. My experience and qualifications are impeccable, obviously, in every important aspect of life. Fashion, motherhood, politics, copyright infringement, self-promotion, name a field where I’m not an expert. There isn’t one.

Not to brag, but I’ve already written two highly acclaimed, incredibly self-serving books of my own. My latest, Women Who Work: Rewriting the Rules for Success, is a vast collection of platitudes and insipid clichés downloaded from the Internet. For good measure, I tossed in some quotes from women with real accomplishments to their credit. I did an utterly fantastic job as author. It’s not easy to create the definitive guide for all of us beleaguered mothers and wives struggling with household staffs and no grip on reality.

Women’s issues are very important to me, you see. As a senior adviser to the White House, I’ve been a major influence on such things as parental leave and women’s empowerment and closing the gender pay gap. My brief tenure in daddy’s administration has seen the pay gap between male and female White House staffers more than triple, with the typical female staffer now earning 63.2¢ for every $1 earned by the typical male staffer. Whoopsie daisy. Don’t blame me, though, I’m not complicit. I don’t know what that even means. It doesn’t sound good. Is it good?

Doesn’t matter, really. What matters are appearance and perception and Trumps.

copyright © 2017 the whirly girl

23 responses to “: ivanka sits in for whirly :”

  1. paperpoemsblog Avatar
    paperpoemsblog

    Reblogged this on Site Title and commented:
    Can’t get enough of whirly sooooooooooo much love! <3

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Right back at you 😘

      Like

  2. Hahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa! We should be able to like posts exponentially. lol so great. Even the replies are hilarious!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ratika Deshpande Avatar
    Ratika Deshpande

    WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO WHIRLY?!!

    Like

    1. You noticed! My elegant sophistication is a nice change, isn’t it?

      Liked by 1 person

  4. An honour to read this … honestly!

    Like

    1. Thanks! But I would expect nothing less 👑

      Liked by 1 person

  5. SickChristine Avatar

    Ivanka,

    Was it hard to talk to heads of state at the G20 with those absurdly large bows on your dress?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Heavens, no. They were a ploy to distract world leaders from the fact I’ve nothing to offer in any setting, official or not. In other words, there’s no one home even though the lights are on. Thank you for noticing :o)

      Liked by 2 people

  6. Nailed it in one. You really are scary, Whirly.

    Like

    1. Heh, that isn’t good news. If I need to relocate suddenly and without notice, will Canada accept American refugees?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’d be happy to sponsor you. ;-)

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Oh, yay! And bless you :o)

          Liked by 1 person

  7. Such words of wisdom!
    Loved this! Lol

    Like

    1. And I’m still so young and oblivious. No wonder people are envious, poor things. Literally 🤗

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I had to read it again. It’s awesome, Ivanka!

    Like

    1. You sound suprised! You know I’m fabulous, so you’re probably impressed by just how fabulous I really am. That happens a lot 😏

      Liked by 3 people

  9. Dear Ivanka , it was so reassuring to know that you sat at the G20 smimmit with your father able to jump right in with all your foreign relations experience. I was not at all humiliated by your fathers lack of intelligence and that he was actually elected by a basket of imbeciles to
    Represent our country or that we have lost all credibility and caused our beloved country to lose face in the civilized world. If you are not ashamed of what you and your mob have done and continue to do you have even more moxie than you are given credit for. Say hello to Whirly

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thank you, I’m honored to serve 👸

      Liked by 2 people

      1. ofcourse you are. :)

        Liked by 1 person

%d bloggers like this: