: twenty shades of beige :

Yes, it’s hot outside. What do people expect? This is July, not November. Besides, Trump is in the White House, happily worsening the global warming problem. We shouldn’t be surprised by a heat wave.

Weather forecasters appear to be, though. They’re issuing heat advisories, cautioning us to stay indoors, and wringing their hands dramatically. As much as I appreciate their mock concern, they need to snap out of it. The heat outside is easier to tolerate than the weather inside; it’s about twelve below zero. Air conditioning blasts out of every vent in every building non-stop.

So, I’ll take refuge in summer, thank you. Winter lingers long enough; no need to subject myself to a year round cold snap. I will not complain about the heat or the humidity or the searing sunshine. Not now and not at 130º. I’ll complain about not having a pool and the indignity of a farmer tan, instead.

If I had access to a swimming pool, I wouldn’t have a farmer tan. Well, I say tan, but it’s more like a gradient of beiges, the full spectrum. Except for my feet, which are a ghastly, glowing fish belly white. The problem is dress codes. Swimming suits aren’t allowed in public places: restaurants, libraries, coffee shops, bookstores, they all have strict rules. Show up in a swimming suit and you’ll be asked to leave, politely but insistently.

Wearing clothes and shoes, with their sleeves and cuffs and socks, leaves a distinct border. Borders not readily apparent from a swimming suit. So, since I like the outdoors — not in the camping sense, but in a go outside and play sense — I have the skin tone and patchwork coloring of Ma Kettle after a day in the fields. Okay, sing along with me, ‘a pretty girl is like a melody …’

copyright © 2017 the whirly girl

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29 Responses to “: twenty shades of beige :”

  1. Lunar

    I actually have fuzzy socks at my desk because I’m not allowed to have a space heater. They have definitely over compensated on the AC

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • the whirly girl

      I feel your goosebumps; two of my offices required space heaters year-round. And they complained about overhead. Hmmm, try giving the a/c a rest. Oy!

      Like

      Reply
  2. AnnaBanana

    This is me. When I’m inside, I wear jeans, sweaters, and fuzzy socks. I’m almost surprised when I go outside and the temperature is reasonable. Who are these air conditioning monsters, anyways?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • the whirly girl

      I wish I knew. There’s a theory it’s guys in suits — jackets and ties and long pants — while women dress in lightweight summer clothing, like dresses. Made sense to me. At least in summer you can go outside and get warm. Winter offers no such relief. Stoopid, stoopid winter 😩

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      Reply
  3. Catherine

    I dig the heat–although I have serious issues concerning Global Warming and my utter disdain for that thing in the whitey house #nevermypresident.
    But I love the fact I can go barefoot, wear minimal clothing and get a spray tan (skin cancer ruined my real bake). No bring on the heat–I welcome it!1

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  4. Thought Spark

    “I say tan, but it’s more like a gradient of beiges, the full spectrum” had my chuckling! I can picture the palette in my head! :-D

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  5. silkpurseproductions

    I have pretty much too choices. Glowing white or glowing red. I burn and it goes back to glowing white. Sunshine is more than welcome in my area. We’ve had rain almost everyday, all day, all summer long. The past few days have been morning thunderstorms and then steam the rest of the day. We all have very good pores.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • the whirly girl

      We’ve been lucky this year, with an abundance of sunshine. I went for a walk in it this afternoon when the heat index was 112 fahrenheit. I’m still putting out about 1,500 BTUs of heat. I wish I could store it up for winter ⛄️

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  6. marymtf

    Keep this comment or not, Whirly Girl, I’ve got to say it, even if it’s only to you. One of my children is a vegetarian (drives me crazy trying to source new recipes when he comes to dinner). He hasn’t worn leather shoes for 15 years, or leather belts.
    Those who believe in man made warming at the very least should not:
    Drive cars
    Plane travel
    Use electricity
    Overpopulate
    Allow China (1,388,569,264) and India (population 1,210,854,977) to put off taking climate change action till 2030

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    Reply
    • the whirly girl

      The globe is warming, why is irrelevant. Rolling back environmental protections and decimating scientific research is not a solution. It’s slow suicide. Mr. Trump is a danger to society.

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      Reply
      • marymtf

        I’m not sure that your response is to my comment. I’m just saying that believers need to lead the way. Don’t get on a plane, in a car. Put away your electronic gadgets. Earth hour accomplishes nothing. How about earth day or earth week? I have my opinion and you have yours, Whirlybird Girl. Thanks for the chance to have my say. I’ll leave you in peace.

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        Reply
  7. Straddle the Turtle

    Totally digressing here, but I couldn’t remember your lyrical reference so googled for assistance. Liberace popped up. This is worth enduring to the surprise ending. Hope you this takes you there:

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • the whirly girl

      Oh. My. I’ve never seen anyone walk so carefully — not even on a tightrope.

      I couldn’t decide between really dreadful and totally campy, so I settled for hilarious. Thanks for bringing Liberace back to life — what a hoot! 🎹🎼

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  8. daisymae2017

    Weather in July might be hot but that’s my kind of weather without humidity. I hate the humidity. I have such sensitive skin I can only be in the sun briefly. Love the hot weather though. I’ll keep my comments about Trump to myself.

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