With a laptop stuck in my pants.
Perhaps you think I’m kidding; I’m not. See, I decided Christmas was an ideal time to do laundry. I’d have the laundry room all to myself. It would be wonderfully peaceful, maybe even offer a little redemption (what with the washing of stains and all), plus I could jam to any music I pleased. I’d not only complete a chore, but dance in the process.
I cheerfully sorted my clothes into two loads — whites and colors — packed them into laundry bags, grabbed the detergent and fabric softener sheets and a handful of quarters. Then, although it was slow to dawn, I realized I’d no third hand to schlep the laptop safely. So I did what any self-respecting genius would do: I stuffed the laptop into the back of my pants. Not only was it a tight fit, it also looked ridiculous, a problem easily solved 
by pulling my shirt over it. Tada, and off I toddled.
How did I get to be so smart, you wonder. Well, it comes from a lifetime of being single — you learn to invent new and unorthodox ways to manage on your own. I can, in fact, haul impressive quantities of household goods hither and yon, things like groceries, cleaning supplies and appliances. I can also fall off ladders, trip circuit breakers, mow lawns, paint ceilings, shuttle furniture like a plow horse and look completely ill-suited to every task.
The laptop in the pants trick is just the latest example of my do-it-yourself inclinations. Except, this time, I couldn’t do it myself. After loading the washers, I couldn’t get the laptop out, it was trapped in my pants. I couldn’t wiggle it out; I couldn’t yank it free; I couldn’t pull or push; I couldn’t sit down or breathe, either.
Turns out, it’s impossible to get a good hold on anything behind you, especially something with no handle wedged inside a waistband. I twisted and contorted myself into unnatural positions seeking a better angle, but to no avail.
I was forced to admit defeat and seek assistance. My go-to responder, the office, was closed. The halls were deserted. Even the parking lot was empty. I was certain I’d die, felled by a laptop cutting off my breath and my circulation — my hips had long ago gone numb. I leaned against a wall to rest.
Long story short, a stranger did, finally, come to my rescue. Oddly enough, she didn’t seem surprised or incredulous or the least bit curious. No, she acted as if pulling a laptop out of someone’s pants was common practice. I adore such people — the ones who don’t get all sniffy when confronting stoopidity.
copyright © 2017 the whirly girl
the whirly girl 
43 responses to “: how I spent Christmas night :”
This post gave me a real laugh! Best Christmas I’ve heard about since Jesus being born
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Aw, thanks 🙃 Your comment makes all the embarrassment worthwhile.
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Hahahahahahaha….hahahahahahahaha……
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You’re swell :0)
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[…] A direct link to her blog: https://thewhirlygirl.com/2017/12/27/how-i-spent-christmas-night/ […]
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Thank you, I’m so incredibly flattered.
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How hilarious! Great story!
Hope you have a good year :)
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Well, I made it through New Year’s without a hitch, so things are definitely looking up. Thanks for the good wishes :o)
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Well, as hilarious as that sounds, I must say, it’s great it didn’t ruin Christmas for you (unlike some of us who cried ourselves to sleep). Nonetheless, you just made my morning. Yay!
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I’m so sorry you had a sad Christmas! I hope things improve quickly and completely. Hang in there :o)
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Thank you. I will hang in here. (Not like I really do have a choice, do I?) 😏
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Well, sure you do, just not a good one :o\
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Hahaha
Okay ☺
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that’s hillarious!!! I hope you had a great Christmas and have a wonderful 2018!!
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I did and I wish you the same 🥂
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Great story, thanks for the laugh.
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Anytime! Thanks for stopping :o)
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Heheheheheh…I think everyone else already covered everything else. Except, I probably would have put the lap top down the front of my pants. Your way is better…at least for fun.
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See, I need your clear-eyed, rational approach. Instead, I have Homer Simpson’s. Oy 🙄
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This is ridicoulesly funny XD !!!
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Yay❣️
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HAHAHA the part where the stranger pulled the laptop of your pants was hysterical. It is an amazing story that brings a smile to my face.
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That makes it all worthwhile. Thank you :o)
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Thank you for making such enjoyable stories. I wish my blog can be like yours. I just started out bloging. My first blog post is under the contact page. Do check it out. Thank you
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:o)
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Maybe the wiggling you did counted as dancing. On the bright side then, following that line of logic, you at least got one thing done on your to-do list! Cheers, and I hope you had a happy holidays!! :)
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I did and thank you! This was actually a pretty great holiday 🙃
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Hahaha. Loved this. I could picture you trying to wiggle free.nice style
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You know what concerns me? Security cameras. The footage is good blackmail material.
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That’s a very, very amusing image. Of course, it’s a totally obvious place to put a laptop when both hands are full. And it was clearly entirely safe and secure. Soo…not stoopid, IMO. I would probably have put it one of the laundry bags and then into a 60 degree wash cycle.
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It sure seemed obvious, until I tried to remove it. The question that keeps nagging me is: why was it so easy to put it there? Shouldn’t that have been just as difficult?
I really like your wash cycle idea, I’ll save that little stunt for New Year’s :o)
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Too funny :) I will never look at doing the laundry the same. Thanks for the chuckle. Merry Christmas!
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Thanks, it’s honestly my pleasure. I don’t mind being an idiot when I get a decent story out of it :o)
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😂😂😂 hilarious. I can imagine walking around with the laptop in my mind and it’s so much fun!
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Gosh, thank you. Being a little batty definitely has an upside — eventually :o)
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May I reblog this item?
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I’d be honored!
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I haven’t laughed that hard in quite a while.
Thanks!
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That makes it all worthwhile. Thank you 😊
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Great story, I could not help but smile as I read this.
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Such is my life, an I Love Lucy episode. But at least it’s never boring❣️
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The visuals that my own brain conjured up with this story… you are hilarious!!! Thank you for the fun 🤣
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I live to serve 🤡
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