: hello, I’m a mental hoarder :

All right, back up. What?

It’s true. After all my chatter about compulsive behavior, the cleaning and straightening and tidying, I’ve decided to disclose my secret life as a hoarder. Sue me, I’m full of contradictions. The disarray I find so distasteful in the physical world I seek in the cerebral realm. My head is packed to the rafters with tall, towering stacks of information, drawers overflow with statistics, cupboards and shelves groan under the weight of data (datum is the proper singular form to be used when a single piece of information is referred to).

It’s a flipping disaster up there — cobwebs and Christmas ornaments, mice, doll shoes. I’ve seen more orderly landfills, but it’s my favorite place in the visible universe (which is some 15 billion light-years across and has 2,000 billion-billion suns). Yet, nowhere in this vast, ginormous wonderland of trivial knowledge, does a usable idea exist. Not an inkling, not a spark, not an aftertaste, nothing. So I’ve decided to unleash a data dump rather than the usual, ahem, thoughtful discussion.

Don’t bother looking for a pattern or logic, there is none. This is nothing more than a cheap attempt to lure readers, pure and simple. I won’t pretend it’s worthwhile or even interesting, but it is new content. And that’s what counts; I have no shame. If that comes as news to you, well …

Welcome to Whirly’s Playhouse:

My apologies for tricking you into visiting. Lively discourse has suffered a number of setbacks lately.

copyright © 2018 the whirly girl

30 thoughts on “: hello, I’m a mental hoarder :

  1. At least your mind holds facts. Mine is stuffed full of things I would rather forget, countless worries, negative voices, songs on repeat and insignificant fragments of memories or information that are no good to man nor beast!

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      1. Frickin frustrating isn’t it?! I can’t usually remember what I had for dinner 2 days ago but I can remember in gloriously sharp detail any one of the number of times I have done something I deem worthy of ridicule….or worse!

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        1. Some joker had packed the dumpster with moving boxes — side to side, top to bottom. So to make a little room, I decided a flying kick, Bruce Lee-style, was in order. I stepped back, got a running start and, aieeeee, made a direct hit. The boxes, unfortunately, acted like a trampoline and sent me careening onto a curb. I had to scoot home on my butt.

          It wasn’t my finest moment 🤦🏻‍♀️

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        2. Oh my! You have just given me a very much needed good belly laugh. Shame I did it in public…oh well that’s another instance of embarrassing myself for the memory bank. Well worth it though 😂 Your poor old butt!

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  2. Hmmm…you’ve got some really good, impressive stuff in your mental hoard. I’m afraid I fall into the Homer Simpson camp: “Every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain…..remember when I took that home wine-making course…and I forgot how to drive?” jx

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  3. That peeing thing…is someone seriously sitting there with a stopwatch?
    And the 86 billion brain cells? I think I only have four – The other 85,999,999,996 got lost somewhere along the line…

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  4. I wish I could remember half of what I have forgotten. Can you teach me how to be a hoarder too? You have made my day, however, because the next time someone makes a comment on my weight I am going to tell them it is 100% stardust!

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    1. And you’ll be absolutely correct. I’ve read that little factoid in more than one book, so it has to be true. Now, the trick to hoarding is to jettison useful information to make room for the frivolous stuff — like the lyrics to The Flintstones. 🎶

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