All right, back up. What?
It’s true. After all my chatter about compulsive behavior, the cleaning and straightening and tidying, I’ve decided to disclose my secret life as a hoarder. Sue me, I’m full of contradictions. The disarray I find so distasteful in the physical world I seek in the cerebral realm. My head is packed to the rafters with tall, towering stacks of information, drawers overflow with statistics, cupboards and shelves groan under the 
weight of data (datum is the proper singular form to be used when a single piece of information is referred to).
It’s a flipping disaster up there — cobwebs and Christmas ornaments, mice, doll shoes. I’ve seen more orderly landfills, but it’s my favorite place in the visible universe (which is some 15 billion light-years across and has 2,000 billion-billion suns). Yet, nowhere in this vast, ginormous wonderland of trivial knowledge, does a usable idea exist. Not an inkling, not a spark, not an aftertaste, nothing. So I’ve decided to unleash a data dump rather than the usual, ahem, thoughtful discussion.
Don’t bother looking for a pattern or logic, there is none. This is nothing more than a cheap attempt to lure readers, pure and simple. I won’t pretend it’s worthwhile or even interesting, but it is new content. And that’s what counts; I have no shame. If that comes as news to you, well …
Welcome to Whirly’s Playhouse:
My apologies for tricking you into visiting. Lively discourse has suffered a number of setbacks lately.
copyright © 2018 the whirly girl
the whirly girl 
30 responses to “: hello, I’m a mental hoarder :”
As a programmer, I love a data dump. And as someone who also suffers from the attic being too full from time to time, I appreciate some new facts. Keep it coming!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Why, thank you! It’s nice when someone makes you feel good about what you do. Yay, you❣️
LikeLiked by 1 person
Why thank you! I’m working on materials for middle school students and your list gave me five items that will suit just fine.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow, that’s unexpected. I’m not used to someone finding an actual purpose for the usual nonsense on my little site here. Thanks, I almost, almost feel productive :o)
LikeLiked by 1 person
At least your mind holds facts. Mine is stuffed full of things I would rather forget, countless worries, negative voices, songs on repeat and insignificant fragments of memories or information that are no good to man nor beast!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, I’ve got piles of those, too. It seems the more I want to forget something the deeper it becomes etched in my pea brain. I’m there with you, kiddo 😐
LikeLiked by 1 person
Frickin frustrating isn’t it?! I can’t usually remember what I had for dinner 2 days ago but I can remember in gloriously sharp detail any one of the number of times I have done something I deem worthy of ridicule….or worse!
LikeLiked by 1 person
2 days ago? That’s an eon. I can’t remember why I’m in the kitchen, but vividly recall a physical altercation I had with a dumpster in 2004. I lost. Bigly.
LikeLiked by 1 person
To be honest 2 days is when things are going good with the old mind. Anyway…physical altercation? dumpster? I need more on this story!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Some joker had packed the dumpster with moving boxes — side to side, top to bottom. So to make a little room, I decided a flying kick, Bruce Lee-style, was in order. I stepped back, got a running start and, aieeeee, made a direct hit. The boxes, unfortunately, acted like a trampoline and sent me careening onto a curb. I had to scoot home on my butt.
It wasn’t my finest moment 🤦🏻♀️
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh my! You have just given me a very much needed good belly laugh. Shame I did it in public…oh well that’s another instance of embarrassing myself for the memory bank. Well worth it though 😂 Your poor old butt!
LikeLiked by 1 person
It was a long crawl across a parking lot and up a flight of stairs — all the while pulling a dog on a leash. I think it took about an hour and all my dignity.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am simultaneously torn between laughter and deep deep sympathy for you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Go with laughter. It’s more fun and makes me feel less stoopid, too. Just entertaining 🤡
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’d be a whiz in a pub quiz – any chance of phoning you up when we’re stuck for an answer? My team goes by the name of Hunh? by the way …
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wouldn’t that be a hoot? I’m a genuine, bona fide doorknob in real life, but really, really fun. So call me whenever you’re stumped for a wrong answer, And go Hunh? 🙃
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah, how I love space facts that gives me number and sizes that I’ll never be able to comprehend.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dimensions aren’t the only things that dazzle me. The stardust thing is too, too, what’s the word? Wow 💫
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hmmm…you’ve got some really good, impressive stuff in your mental hoard. I’m afraid I fall into the Homer Simpson camp: “Every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain…..remember when I took that home wine-making course…and I forgot how to drive?” jx
LikeLiked by 1 person
How did you know Homer Simpson is my role model? In all aspects of life? I adore that dude, he introduced me to floor pie 🥧
LikeLiked by 1 person
That peeing thing…is someone seriously sitting there with a stopwatch?
And the 86 billion brain cells? I think I only have four – The other 85,999,999,996 got lost somewhere along the line…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Just for the sake of argument, let’s assume they are. But. Who pees normally when they’re being timed? Ai-yi-yi! 🤦🏻♀️
LikeLike
Great, now my brain is full…
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank goodness for flash drives, yeah? 🤯
LikeLiked by 1 person
I wish I could remember half of what I have forgotten. Can you teach me how to be a hoarder too? You have made my day, however, because the next time someone makes a comment on my weight I am going to tell them it is 100% stardust!
LikeLiked by 2 people
And you’ll be absolutely correct. I’ve read that little factoid in more than one book, so it has to be true. Now, the trick to hoarding is to jettison useful information to make room for the frivolous stuff — like the lyrics to The Flintstones. 🎶
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yabba-dabba-doo!
LikeLiked by 1 person
📺 You took the words right out of my mouth.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’d give them back but I already swallowed. ;-)
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hahahahahahahahaaaaa …
LikeLiked by 1 person