: dear canada :

Hello, eh?

You Canadians are sensible people, right? You’re bright, well-mannered, helpful, a perfect neighbor. So would you do us all a big favor and invade America? Seriously, send your armed forces and save us from the bloated misfit in the White House (located at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, DC  20500 — you can’t miss it). We’d really appreciate your assistance.

Come on, you’ve dealt with that blowhard. You know he’s nuts. He goes around scaring me and everyone else with his wild ranting and unhinged threats and trashy friends. The guy is not only a danger to society, he’s ruining the country.

America used to be a nice place, remember? Sure, we had our problems, but we were decent folks doing our best to get by. We got along with people. We had allies. Then Sideshow Don colluded with the Russians, the election was hacked, and, well, you know the rest. It’s been nothing but disaster and chaos and disgrace after disgrace after disgrace ever since.

Trump is either repealing thoughtful policies and / or looting the place, those are his only two strategies. We’re now, for all intents and purposes, his own personal country club, where he decides who is worthy and who isn’t. Pfft, like he’d know. Without swift and effective intervention, Trump is on course to bankrupt the U.S., morally and financially, drive us to the brink of civil war, and then skip away scot-free. The damage will take decades, maybe centuries, to repair.

Please, Canada, I’m begging you, send your Army Guys.

Sincerely yours,

the whirly girl

copyright © 2018 the whirly girl

27 thoughts on “: dear canada :

  1. Man I remember when I used to be proud at being able to call myself an American and now I’m like, “Hey Canada, please prepare my safe house.” Haha it’s not Canada’s problem or responsibility to intervene in our affairs so I feel bad trying to even drag them into this MESS AND TOTAL CHAOS but I will take anything we can get!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Just between you and me, our “army guys” were in charge of Trumps safety while he was here. Believe me when I tell you I’m pretty sure if asked they would have looked the other way if something had come the flying through t he air at Trump. You know, a shoe lace can come undone at the most inopportune time.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Well, also between you and me, shoelaces deserve more attention than does Mr. Trump. They’re important and necessary. Mr. Trump deserves, um, medication? Next time you see Trudeau tell him I applaud his restraint. Then come and get me, you lucky Canadian 😉


    1. See? That’s the only fly in the ointment. I could not survive a winter any farther north than I already am. Other than that little detail, I’m with you 110% 🙃


  3. Just remember…you are still a democracy…you just have to wait a bit and you can vote people out. But you have to make sure enough people agree with you. And if they don’t agree with you…well…people get what they vote for and there will be a reason that they voted for something that doesn’t seem to make sense.

    Of course, if they do do it again…just go ahead and get the Mounties in….they’re royal and that means they’re simply not allowed to like republicans…I think…

    Liked by 1 person

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