: we aren’t crazy :

We’re creative. There’s a difference. Oh, it’s hard to distinguish at times, but there’s a difference all right. Crazy is Sideshow Don, a lunatic wrapped in a nut job inside a personality disorder.

Creative is harmless and exhausting and, occasionally, fun, but it’s not insane. Harmless is good, I like harmless, fun is awesome, but the exhausting part is a drawback. Who actually looks forward to pounding away on ideas? I don’t. I love ideas, they’re exciting, but I dread the tweaking and revising and polishing and rewriting. I put it off until I’m desperate to post something new, then I’ll trot out a concept that’s grown stale after sitting unattended for so long. And it never turns out as good as I expected it to be. It’s very discouraging, although I should have learned to lower my expectations by now. I haven’t. My hopes continue to soar and their fall still hurts.

For me, writing is a tough slog, a long, frantic attempt to revive cold, lifeless thoughts. I think of it as idea CPR.

I’m successful only about 15% of the time (good thing I’m not an EMT, eh?). The other 85% I sulk and sigh and call myself names. Idiot, mostly, but I’m pretty prolific with the insults. Half-assed is a favorite, there’s also half-wit, dimwit, boob, moron, lamebrain, birdbrain, dope, hack, airhead, shithead, knothead, bozo, numbskull, loser, dweeb, well, you get the point. Creativity is hard, thankless freaking work.

What kind of person spends years working on something no one will ever see. I do. You do. Bunches of us can’t stop ourselves from putting thoughts into words — words that attempt to describe the craziness of life in a relatable, illuminating way. Of course, I happily settle for entertaining nonsense every chance I get; illuminating is way too ambitious. You’d need applied intelligence and logic to pull that off.

Even so, writing is what we do and who we are. But, I swear to God, some days I’d rather be a pirate.

copyright © 2018 the whirly girl

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16 Responses to “: we aren’t crazy :”

  1. Straddle the Turtle

    I want to say you’re way to hard on yourself, but I do the same thing to myself. What’s worse, when I actually DO create something kind of brilliant I thank the gods for dropping it to me from the sky. Can’t even believe I’m a credible artist. What’s THAT all about?!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • the whirly girl

      This is such a fragile process. I wonder if anyone feels confident when they’re working on new stuff? That would make me nervous; I’d think I was delusional 😳

      PS. You are brilliant, by the way❣️

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  2. aintwegotitmade

    nothing you’ve written has failed to impress…this is one of the few blogs I read! I’m just imagining the even more stunningly, beautifully constructed stuff that could be produced by the little Whirly Girl waiting to emerge from behind the self-doubt….why throw self-doubting stones at the WG? All she wants to do is come out and shine…let her do it.

    Like

    Reply
  3. SilkPurseProductions

    You are a star! I think being a pirate would be a blast. I’ll be on your crew. I’m thinking we won’t get far before the first mishap happens but then we’ll have something to write about.

    Like

    Reply

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