: we aren’t crazy :

We’re creative. There’s a difference. Oh, it’s hard to distinguish at times, but there’s a difference all right. Crazy is Sideshow Don, a lunatic wrapped in a nut job inside a personality disorder.

Creative is harmless and exhausting and, occasionally, fun, but it’s not insane. Harmless is good, I like harmless, fun is awesome, but the exhausting part is a drawback. Who actually looks forward to pounding away on ideas? I don’t. I love ideas, they’re exciting, but I dread the tweaking and revising and polishing and rewriting. I put it off until I’m desperate to post something new, then I’ll trot out a concept that’s grown stale after sitting unattended for so long. And it never turns out as good as I expected it to be. It’s very discouraging, although I should have learned to lower my expectations by now. I haven’t. My hopes continue to soar and their fall still hurts.

For me, writing is a tough slog, a long, frantic attempt to revive cold, lifeless thoughts. I think of it as idea CPR.

I’m successful only about 15% of the time (good thing I’m not an EMT, eh?). The other 85% I sulk and sigh and call myself names. Idiot, mostly, but I’m pretty prolific with the insults. Half-assed is a favorite, there’s also half-wit, dimwit, boob, moron, lamebrain, birdbrain, dope, hack, airhead, shithead, knothead, bozo, numbskull, loser, dweeb, well, you get the point. Creativity is hard, thankless freaking work.

What kind of person spends years working on something no one will ever see. I do. You do. Bunches of us can’t stop ourselves from putting thoughts into words — words that attempt to describe the craziness of life in a relatable, illuminating way. Of course, I happily settle for entertaining nonsense every chance I get; illuminating is way too ambitious. You’d need applied intelligence and logic to pull that off.

Even so, writing is what we do and who we are. But, I swear to God, some days I’d rather be a pirate.

copyright © 2018 the whirly girl

16 thoughts on “: we aren’t crazy :

  1. You are a star! I think being a pirate would be a blast. I’ll be on your crew. I’m thinking we won’t get far before the first mishap happens but then we’ll have something to write about.


  2. nothing you’ve written has failed to impress…this is one of the few blogs I read! I’m just imagining the even more stunningly, beautifully constructed stuff that could be produced by the little Whirly Girl waiting to emerge from behind the self-doubt….why throw self-doubting stones at the WG? All she wants to do is come out and shine…let her do it.


  3. I want to say you’re way to hard on yourself, but I do the same thing to myself. What’s worse, when I actually DO create something kind of brilliant I thank the gods for dropping it to me from the sky. Can’t even believe I’m a credible artist. What’s THAT all about?!

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    1. This is such a fragile process. I wonder if anyone feels confident when they’re working on new stuff? That would make me nervous; I’d think I was delusional 😳

      PS. You are brilliant, by the way❣️

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        1. I’m trying not to take the repeated failures seriously. After the first thousand times, it’s gotten absolutely hilarious. Watch out Guinness Book of World Records, here I come … 👍


        2. If at first you don’t succeed … try a different proverb! I like Sam Beckett’s take on it – ‘Fail again. Fail better.’ Though I have to say, your posts always strike me as successes …

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