: where the heck is fema? :

My computer went belly up on Thursday and that, to my way of thinking, is the literal definition of disaster — an event short of catastrophe, but way beyond fiasco.

So where the heck is FEMA with my aid and support? Where’s the Red Cross? I’m sitting here in the rubble, picking my way through files and flash drives and chaos, hoping to restore some semblance of order. Yeah, well, fat chance; I lost my software in the crash. I have thousands of files on half a dozen flash drives, but I can’t open one of them. They’re 100% inaccessible, unless I pay ransom to Adobe for the rest of my natural life. And I don’t want to.

See, you can’t buy InDesign and Photoshop from Adobe any more. Oh, no, you have to rent them in perpetuity at a cost of $40 / month. Of course, that’s today’s rate, it will certainly go higher and higher and higher as time marches on. This death grip on products is the new business model for technology companies. Apple has adopted it, too. To prevent any third-party repair of their precious products, Apple bricks the device — locking you out of your own computer — when an unauthorized technician attempts to fix it. Only an Apple technician can then unlock your bricked device. Shouldn’t these shenanigans be illegal?

But I digress …

Today, I mourn the loss of my beloved old laptop and the software it housed. Fortunately, I had the foresight to prepare for its certain and inevitable demise and acquired a second laptop several years ago. It’s perfectly adequate, newer with a ton of annoying bells and whistles, but it’s slower, with less memory. I’ll get used to it, of course, but I’ll miss my old workhorse. I get ridiculously attached to things like computers and certain clothes, cars, books, socks. You know, stuff. It’s wrenching, after years of their loyal, devoted service, to lose their companionship and comfort.

Seriously, think about it. Where do we turn when we need answers or news or distraction? Where do we run when we get an idea? To our trusty old computers, that’s where. Sure, they’re a pain in the ass a lot of the time, total divas, but they always come through like champions. Even though I’m no techie and I’ve no credentials whatsoever, my old computer did whatever I commanded — usually to my very great regret. It only complained there at the end, grinding and whirring, blinking and flashing, sputtering —  undergoing the digital version of a death rattle. Poor thing.

So forgive me for cutting this short, but it’s time for the memorial service to begin. May my dearly departed laptop rest in peace.

copyright © 2018 the whirly girl

13 thoughts on “: where the heck is fema? :

  1. On the positive side, well done for bouncing back so soon! This is a subject nobody likes to think about but, as you say, nobody can escape. My stuff used to be saved in the clouds – see how useless I am with this? – but now, for some mysterious reason, isn’t. So I copy photos and half-decent stories on to a memory stick and keep my fingers crossed as to everything else …

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    1. Why, thank you, by now I’ve been through so many crashes they’re tedious rather than upsetting. Looking for replacement software is the big problem. I had my files on back-up drives, but without my old applications they’re useless. I’m still searching and failing and floundering. Wish me luck 🤡

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  2. This is my nightmare. There is no way I can pay the monthly fee that Adobe wants for Photoshop, In Design, etc. When people talk about getting new computers I think, not a snowball’s chance in hell can I do that. I would lose all my programs. You have added to my nightmare today as I did not know about that lock out feature for Apple products. I think I shall go lie in the fetal position for awhile.

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    1. Wait, before you do, I think the bricking only happens on Apple’s newer machines. Probably circa 2016 and newer. Maybe. Possibly. And I’m considering replacing Photoshop with Pixelmator Pro — $30. That’s it. I’ll let you know if it’s any good!?!? So take heart, Michelle, we may yet compute on.

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  3. Stories about the demise of old computers, always make me sad. But then I have seen so many computers die. Years ago, I took my kids to the National Museum of American History. While touring the section devoted to computers, I kept telling my kids, “I worked on that one and that one and that one and that one.”

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    1. Computers are amazing, but I kind of wish tech companies would stop updating and upgrading for a while. When they crash, and they all do eventually, restoring everything is worse than moving. It’s such an upheaval.

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