: a self-portrait :

Send help

I was so happy in my shorts and tennis shoes, merrily skipping along with my Cracker Jacks. Next thing I knew I was face down on the ground.

Now, I’m flattened and miserable and in desperate need of assistance. Problem is, I don’t know who to call, because the weather is a hoax. Who’s pulling it, though? Penn and Teller? David Copperfield? Dr. Demento? Is springtime being held at the border?

Well, whatever or whoever is doing this, cut it out! It isn’t funny (but neither is this post). Please, I want spring to come and stay until summertime. Please, please, please, puh-leeeeeeeeeeeeeze.