Year: 2019
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: this isn’t a trick or a treat :
It’s a nightmare. Last night, while the world slept peacefully in their beds, zillions of snowflakes got together and stormed out of the sky. By daylight, they’d buried everything in sight in a fat, wet, heavy, deep blanket of horrifying. Conditions forced me to spend 40 long, pissed off minutes of my morning unearthing the…
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: surprise :
Funny story, a baked potato sparked my newest identity crisis. More surprising than the revelation itself was discovering a potato can trigger self-awareness. Isn’t that crazy? I mean, come on, do I look like Mrs. Potato Hea — never mind. It is autumn and it’s pretty brisk outside, so I’m miserable and crave something hot…
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: i’m compensating :
Can you blame me? I’m struggling to survive here. You see, I met my annual Waterloo on Friday — the gruesome head-on collision with Fall and long pants and assorted seasonal unpleasantries. It was rainy; it was blustery; it was cold; it was a punch in the heart. Denial had lost its power. I pouted,…
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: the new leaf :
The urge to start fresh is more common to spring or the New Year, I know, but the leaf metaphor applies in autumn, too, I suppose. Besides, I don’t set the schedule for these things. The itch for big, radical change kicks in and I scratch. Last week’s post is what put my feet on…
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: the whirly brand :
Everyone is a brand, have you noticed? Oprah is a brand. Apple is a brand, Nike, Beyoncé, Homer Simpson — they’re all big, fancy brands, the kind people clamor to be associated with. Well, here’s a news flash: I’m a brand, too. I am the whirly girl, an unknown, unheralded, largely ignored presence in the…
the whirly girl 