: running on empty :


I woke up this morning exhausted after nine hours of something that wasn’t sleep. There was nothing refreshing about it, nothing restorative. It was all bad dreams and worrisome thoughts, tossing and turning. But that’s what the double whammy of a wildly spreading contagion + corrupt government does to you: it upends your life. 

Somewhere in all the melee I lost my motivation to care. About anything. I don’t care how I look. I don’t care if I’m clean or what I wear or how I sound or if my shoes are on the right feet. I’ve stopped tucking my shirts in and sticking down cowlicks and watching my language. Manners and dignity went by the wayside, too. Burping is my new sport. 

In the old days, I was neurotic about order and tidiness. Now? Not so much. Mountains of laundry threaten to smother me in an avalanche of t-shirts and shorts and socks. The floor is more dog hair than carpet and the upholstery is practically mohair.  I stopped dusting and vacuuming in, when was it, April, maybe? I’ve kept up with the dishes, though, and the right angles and rows are still as close to perfect as I can make them— albeit dusty and furry.

But you know what else I lost in all the chaos? I’ve lost the funny. I lost clever and witty, too. I even lost the desire to try. The truth is, my head is hollowed out and it’s scary. Before, I thought it was fun to sit at my computer and work on ideas, build weird little worlds out of words. That enthusiasm has vanished and I miss it like an arm. I wish I knew how to restore it, but I don’t. 

So my apologies to you. I’m hoping for a miracle, of course, but there’s just no guarantee, is there? It could happen, though. And I’m standing by with my fingers, eyes, and legs crossed and a butterfly net to catch any wayward ideas that might fly by. 

copyright © 2020 the whirly girl

17 responses to “: running on empty :”

  1. Interesting post here Friend. I was reading posts on wordpress when I came across this post from you. I know how you feel during this time, a lot of people share this feeling. Self care and mental health is important during this time. Watch movies, listen to music, dress up and be up to speed. Try your best to use this time for something productive. Learn a new language, a new skill, a new hobby etc. When life goes back to normal, the time privilege that many people have now will potentially be lost. Another great tip is to connect with God in prayer. I know that this is a difficult time, but God has our back. God would not forsake us. Pray to God, tell him how you feel, invite him into your life and let him take care of things. Try your best and leave the rest for God.

    God says in Isaiah 41:10
    “So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
    I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand”.

    If you want more information on how to connect with God, I have a post on it here: 

    https://christcenteredruminations.wordpress.com/2018/08/29/how-to-build-a-relationship-with-god/

    You can check out the blog post above. If the information is too overwhelming for you, then you can start slow and work your way up gradually. If you want to stay updated and you want more posts from me, you can follow my blog. I post about God, faith and Christian Spirituality.

    May God’s blessing be with you, Amen. :)

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      1. Thank you for your response. God bless.

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  2. Hello!Sending more power to your butterfly net, hoping it works at its best ability to catch your ideas. Sending warm wishes. Stay safe.

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    1. Aw, thank you. You made my day 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Except for the fact that the hair is mine and not a dogs we are living in the same place. By the sounds of the comments we aren’t alone. I’m not sure that makes it any better.

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    1. Well, see there, lucky me! I have the dog’s hair and mine. So double the fun! My laundry, however, is all caught up and I somehow managed to do a tiny bit of dusting with a feather duster. Don’t you worry, though, I’m resting as comfortably as could be expected. Until February.

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      1. I wish I knew where you got the motivation. I am still looking at my dust hedgehogs.

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        1. it was do the laundry or go to the grocery store. easy decision :o)

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  4. There’s just too much to bear right now. Even Michele Obama admits she’s suffering a low grade depression from it all. Did you catch that in recent news? I love that she fessed up, because it helps me (a weakling) to know that even the strong & super-capable deem this time as way too much 😫

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    1. i envy her, she’s so well-adjusted. my strategy was to wash three loads of laundry, change the bedding, do some dusting, and then reward myself with a peach pie and a pizza. i’m still worried and sad and pissed off, but i’m too full to care. this may become my new coping mechanism :o)

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      1. 🤣I just now saw your reply. Something about that “with a peach pie & a pizza” phrase… begs me to say it over and over in my head & visualize it, too. With a big ole smile on my face of course 😬

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        1. You always make me feel worthwhile❣️ Thanks‼️

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  5. I love the phrase “build weird little worlds out of words”. That’s just what bloggers do. And you still do it so well.

    Hang on in there, Whirly. The Muse will return someday, probably when you least expect it. I just hope it doesn’t come from another headline dive onto the sidewalk off one of those banana skins you are so adept at stepping on. 🤞

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 🤣 me, too, since i’m finally scab-free, which is nice. but it is fun meeting new people — you know, the ones who help me up. they’re so friendly.

      like you, my witty friend❣️ don’t give up on me yet.

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  6. These feelings are not at all surprising and I think they’re being experienced by many….although some don’t have mountains of laundry cos they’ve been wearing the same t-shirt for weeks! The Real Whirly Girl is still there somewhere…and we will still be here when you come back.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. you’ve no idea how you warmed my heart❣️ thanks, you’re just awesome 😊

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