: you’re welcome :

I, the whirly girl, have single-handedly, and at great personal expense, saved humanity from the misery of a long, grim, distasteful winter. Maybe not all of humanity, but the Midwest, at least. Maybe the United States. Or possibly North America. We’ll conduct an assessment in the spring — sweet, sweet spring.

And how did I manage to pull off this life-affirming miracle? By buying a fancy new coat. It was the option of last resort. You see, the Farmer’s Almanac is predicting, in their own words, a ‘shivery and snowy’ season with colder than normal temperatures and above average precipitation — i.e., Armageddon. For my part of the country, anyway. When I heard that news, I panicked and defaulted to doomsday prepper mode.

Eventually, and against my better judgment, I plunked down a fat bundle of money I don’t have on outerwear I don’t really need to prepare for the harsh weather en route. And, hooboy, it’s a beauty! Sort of a bomber / expeditionary forces look. A rugged olive green jacket with a bright orange lining stuffed with 3 tons (or so) of down. An insulated fur-lined hood. Secret pockets. Toggles and buttons and bungee cords to batten down the hatches in windy blizzard-like conditions. The perfect antidote to an arctic winter.

Now that I’m armed against the cold, prepared as never before, it will do a quick detour to parts unknown. Just to spite me. That’s the type of relationship we have, winter and I. Today, for instance, is 77º. In late October. And I’m wearing a sloppy grin. Above shorts and a t-shirt. Crisis averted, folks.

No thanks necessary, it was my pleasure. Carry on.

copyright © 2022 the whirly girl

6 responses to “: you’re welcome :”

  1. It sounds like that jacket was a good investment. If it covers your butt then you will have plenty of padding for those slippery slopes you tend to do battle with.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love how you still think I’m sensible. I’m not. I originally planned on a long puffy coat, but they were even more 💲💲💲. Then I fell in love with this one, so … What’s winter for, anyway — besides recuperating from broken bones?

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Last week up here in Wisconsin I had to dig out my warmest down coat to walk the doggies and – voila! – up to 60s & 70s for the next week! Love the description of your jacket; can just picture it 🤓

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The same thing happened here last week, it dropped into the 20s overnight a few times. But I held strong to my shorts and fleece piled on hoodies piled on thermals piled on t-shirts piled on undershirts. My ultimate goal is to survive until November, then I”ll only have to endure five months of long pants. Four if can achieve numbness. Nuts, I know, but I do love a challenge.

      I visit the jacket every once in a while, give it a pat on the shoulder along with a wink, knowing our day will come. I don’t want it to, but it will. The jacket will make it bearable. I hope 🙏

      PS. It was so wonderful seeing you guys! Lunch absolutely, positively made my year.

      PPS. This may be a duplicate reply. Somehow boxes were added to the post when I published the original reply, when I deleted them I deleted the reply, too — I guess. It disappeared, regardless. Sorry 🤦🏻‍♀️

      Liked by 1 person

  3. If I’d known it was that easy to defeat winter, I’d have bought a big warm coat years ago!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. A girl has to dream. Besides, that’s how I justified buying a new coat. nert nert nert


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