: crazy or valiant? :

Here it is, 5 days before Christmas and a mere 48 hours before a bomb cyclone is forecast to blow in with ‘dangerous blizzard conditions’ and subzero temperatures. So what do I do? I head to Walmart, a frenzied, teeming mob-scene under the best of circumstances.

What, may I ask, does that kind of behavior warrant:
a.) the Medal of Honor 
b.) an intervention 
c.) heavy sedation

The thing is, I wanted a box of Premium Minis, highly addictive saltine crackers roughly the size of postage stamps, and I wanted them badly. My usual dealer was out of them and I was jonesing, man. Cold turkey withdrawal is brutal. So I grabbed my keys and beelined to Walmart for the relief of a quick fix. On the way, I swerved between hating myself for caving and worrying they’d be out. Worrying won.

My slog from the outermost edge of the parking lot was long and it was frigid. At the automatic doors, I paused, squared my shoulders, took a breath, affixed my mask, and waded into the churning chaos. I did not falter. I navigated — around shopping carts and scooters, kids, stacks of merchandise, people, festive displays, and the constant chatter of voices. When I reached the cracker aisle, my heart sank at the empty spaces dotting the shelves. ‘Oh, please, oh, please, oh, please’ was the mantra running on a loop in my head as I searched. Then a warm beam of soft light shone from a low shelf and a chorus of angels intoned ‘hallelujah’ to the accompaniment of harps. 

There they were. A neatly aligned row, at least eight 11-oz. boxes of Premium Minis, stood at rigid attention. It was a Christmas Miracle. I grabbed four of them and bolted for self-checkout, where there was no line and an open scanning station. Christmas miracle number two. My debit card was approved, I bagged the boxes, fled to the car, and drove myself home without incident. And now, I’m going to brush the cracker crumbs off my chest and settle in for a long winter’s nap.

Merry Christmas to all.

copyright © 2022 the whirly girl

4 responses to “: crazy or valiant? :”

  1. Now you have me “jonesing” for those crackers. I don’t think they are available in Canada. I am a cracker addict and can see why you would risk life and limb to fetch them.
    We ended up without power for days. As we sat with the gas stove keeping us warm watching the snow grow higher and higher around us. The gas fireplace gave out at 4:30 am Christmas Eve…it got cold in here fast. I was able to get an SOS out via our facebook community page and one of our neighbours dug himself into our place and helped get the fireplace working again. Then all we had to do was wait to be dug out. Phones were out of juice and we couldn’t open the doors because The snow was blocking them. Locally we were all in the same mess but you will get a kick out of this story about my local Walmart
    Merry Christmas, Whirly Girl!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Are you kidding? Days? That sounds like torture! You must’ve felt like a pioneer woman! Well, at least you were home and not stuck in a Walmart. I read the story and felt so sorry for the folks stranded there. I admire them for making the best of it. I’d’ve been sobbing in a corner. It’s been between -20º and -30º here for days, which was brutal, but we only had 3 inches of snow. Even with that, the roads and sidewalks remain treacherous. Every time I take the dog out, my heart’s in my throat from the minute I step outside until I step back inside. Let’s hope for an early spring 🙏

      Happy New Year to you!!!

      PS. I’m down to my last box of Minis 😭

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Maybe it’s just neuro-divergence. Happy Holidays to One & All!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s it, it’s the perfect term and so diplomatic! Thank you!


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