This is an actual emergency and a dire one, at that. The election is only two days away and I'm not prepared for what may lie ahead. All day every day, I swing between abject despair and rage, utter disgust and white-knuckle anxiety. So to save my poor, weary, overburdened mind I deleted the twitter … Continue reading : this is not a drill :
Author: the whirly girl
We’re all hurtling through space at 1,040 mph with the earth’s rotation. I’m the one in the backseat with my head out the window. May I borrow a comb?
: you’re welcome :
I, the whirly girl, have single-handedly, and at great personal expense, saved humanity from the misery of a long, grim, distasteful winter. Maybe not all of humanity, but the Midwest, at least. Maybe the United States. Or possibly North America. We’ll conduct an assessment in the spring — sweet, sweet spring. And how did I … Continue reading : you’re welcome :
itsy bitsy spider vs the waterspout
We can all agree showers are uplifting, right? But do you know why? Because they’re teeming with negative ions, oxygen atoms charged with an extra electron. When we inhale those little miracles our bloodstream fills up with natural mood chemicals, such as serotonin, which helps to relieve stress, boost mental energy, and alleviate depression. The … Continue reading itsy bitsy spider vs the waterspout
: what if we knew? :
The one thing we know for certain is, we’re going to die. All 8 billion of us are going to turn toes up and croak. Some day. Life is a limited engagement, you know, but we’ve no idea how long we’ll be onstage. I, myself, am somewhat fearful of dying. Not of death, just the … Continue reading : what if we knew? :
: choosing a hill to die on :
I've chosen freedom. I like it; I am unabashedly pro-freedom. Know why? I get to think for myself. Oh, don't look so surprised, I do think sometimes. While I’ve conjured some of the dumbest, most ill-advised decisions in the history of the frontal lobe, I don't let that stop me. I could give you examples, … Continue reading : choosing a hill to die on :
: something wicked this way comes :
I know it. You know it. The entire northern hemisphere knows it. So why am I the only one panicking and doomsday prepping like a crazy person? Because I’m keenly attuned to seasonal nuance, that’s why. I can feel the menacing approach of winter from here, early September, when shorts and flip-flops are still a … Continue reading : something wicked this way comes :
: splooting explained :
The British call it pancaking. Squirrels call it life enhancing. Others call it heat dumping. Most of the big dictionaries don’t define it, yet. However, it is thought to be of recent coinage, which is nice. Etymology is such a gas. I, myself, stumbled across the term in, of all places, the Washington Post. Apparently, … Continue reading : splooting explained :
: blame it on corn sweat :
It’s a real, honest-to-goodness thing. Corn, the kind that grows on tall, spindly stalks in endless rows of dirt, sweats. It stands quietly in the sunshine exhaling water into the atmosphere through a process called evapotranspiration. Less scientific types call it corn sweat. One measly acre of ripening corn (there are millions in Illinois) can … Continue reading : blame it on corn sweat :
the whirly girl 