in case of emergency

Have you ever found yourself at a loss for words? Well, never again. Here are enough witticisms and snappy retorts to last a lifetime. Keep one on hand at all times and become a delightful and sought after conversationalist. Useful for any occasion, everything from elevator rides to cocktail parties.

“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” — Jim Carrey

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” — Helen Keller

“Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.” — Robert Benchley

“Me fail English? That’s unpossible.”– Ralph Wiggum (The Simpsons)

“Creativity takes courage.” — Henri Matisse

“Never put a sock in the toaster.” — Eddie Izzard

 “A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.” — Steven Wright

“You’ll have to speak up, I’m wearing a towel.” — Homer Simpson

 “Dooby, dooby, doo.” — Frank Sinatra

“The Detroit String Quartet played Brahms last night. Brahms lost.” — Bennett Cerf

“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” — Lily Tomlin

“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” — Dr. Seuss

“Tie your shoes, pack a good lunch, and remember we’re all in this together.”
— Public school poster

“To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow.” — Audrey Hepburn

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