in case of emergency

Have you ever found yourself at a loss for words? Well, never again. Here are enough witticisms and snappy retorts to last a lifetime. Keep one on hand at all times and become a delightful and sought after conversationalist. Useful for any occasion, everything from elevator rides to cocktail parties.

♦ “Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” — Jim Carrey

♦ “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” — Helen Keller

♦ “Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.” — Robert Benchley

♦ “Me fail English? That’s unpossible.”– Ralph Wiggum (The Simpsons)

♦ “Creativity takes courage.” — Henri Matisse

♦ “Never put a sock in the toaster.” — Eddie Izzard

♦ “A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.” — Steven Wright

♦ “You’ll have to speak up, I’m wearing a towel.” — Homer Simpson

♦ “Dooby, dooby, doo.” — Frank Sinatra

♦ “The Detroit String Quartet played Brahms last night. Brahms lost.” — Bennett Cerf

♦ “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” — Lily Tomlin

♦ “Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” — Dr. Seuss

♦ “Tie your shoes, pack a good lunch, and remember we’re all in this together.”
— Public school poster

♦ “To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow.” — Audrey Hepburn