: surprise :
Funny story, a baked potato sparked my newest identity crisis. More surprising than the revelation itself was discovering a potato can trigger self-awareness. Isn’t that crazy?…
: i’m compensating :
Can you blame me? I’m struggling to survive here. You see, I met my annual Waterloo on Friday — the gruesome head-on collision with Fall and…
: the new leaf :
The urge to start fresh is more common to spring or the New Year, I know, but the leaf metaphor applies in autumn, too, I suppose.…
: the whirly brand :
Everyone is a brand, have you noticed? Oprah is a brand. Apple is a brand, Nike, Beyoncé, Homer Simpson — they’re all big, fancy brands, the…
: yipes, here it comes :
Autumn, with it’s cold, damp, dreary darkness, is preparing for the kill. That’s its entire purpose, you know: to murder summer. To replace our blissful radiance…
: bandaids are not your friend :
They will out you. First chance they get, those buggers scream, ‘clumsy bonehead walking.’ And you can’t deny it, because the damn proof is right there,…
