the whirly girl

Beware of gravity.

  • : you’re welcome :

    I, the whirly girl, have single-handedly, and at great personal expense, saved humanity from the misery of a long, grim, distasteful winter. Maybe not all of humanity, but the Midwest, at least. Maybe the United States. Or possibly North America. We’ll conduct an assessment in the spring — sweet, sweet spring. And how did I […]

  • : itsy bitsy spider vs waterspout :

    We can all agree showers are uplifting, right? But do you know why? Because they’re teeming with negative ions, oxygen atoms charged with an extra electron. When we inhale those little miracles our bloodstream fills up with natural mood chemicals, such as serotonin, which helps to relieve stress, boost mental energy, and alleviate depression.  The […]

  • : what if we knew? :

    The one thing we know for certain is, we’re going to die. All 8 billion of us are going to turn toes up and croak. Some day. Life is a limited engagement, you know, but we’ve no idea how long we’ll be onstage. I, myself, am somewhat fearful of dying. Not of death, just the […]

  • : choosing a hill to die on :

    I’ve chosen freedom. I like it; I am unabashedly pro-freedom. Know why? I get to think for myself. Oh, don’t look so surprised, I do think sometimes. While I’ve conjured some of the dumbest, most ill-advised decisions in the history of the frontal lobe, I don’t let that stop me. I could give you examples, […]

  • : something wicked this way comes :

    I know it. You know it. The entire northern hemisphere knows it. So why am I the only one panicking and doomsday prepping like a crazy person? Because I’m keenly attuned to seasonal nuance, that’s why. I can feel the menacing approach of winter from here, early September, when shorts and flip-flops are still a […]