That’s me and I’m none too happy about it, either. You see, I’m at the age where birthdays are like a membership in Fruit of the Month club -- it comes too often and you get too many of them. Way, way too many. Can anyone tell me how to cancel the damn things? What … Continue reading : the birthday girl :
People are suffering needlessly under the popular misconception that August has no good holidays. That’s just not true. Has everyone forgotten my birthday? It’s in August. On the tenth. Hey, isn’t that, yup, today. Ha, gotta run, par-TAY! Wait, before I go, how about we make this National Blow Your Own Horn Day? We’ll make … Continue reading : blow your own damn horn :
It was a school night, that much I remember. Winter, too, or at least cold. I was sound asleep, dreaming the dreams of a third grader, when I heard my mom, ‘Lisa? I don’t want to alarm you, but the fire department is coming.’ Alarm me? Why would that alarm me? I bounced out of … Continue reading : this still isn’t goodbye :
This is ridiculous. I just had a birthday, for crying out loud. I don't need another one. And when did they start coming bi-monthly? My dear old grandmother, bless her heart, was never entirely sure what year she was born. Lucky woman. These days we not only know the year, but month, day, time, and … Continue reading Aww, crap, not again.