The dog, bless her heart, isn’t terribly bright. She’s trusting, though, and that’s to her everlasting detriment. I sometimes use her naiveté for entertainment purposes: she’ll fall for anything. My newest and most ambitious scam to date is pretending to be Julia Child. Now, anyone who knows me — even a little — knows I … Continue reading : a bad, bad, terrible impression :
Tag: food
: if a bug drowns in your coffee, should you still drink it? :
Heck, you might as well, because ground coffee is already full of bug fragments and I’m not kidding. I wish I was, though. If you’re wondering how that’s possible, please, allow me to explain. I did a little research and discovered the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) makes allowances for a certain amount of … Continue reading : if a bug drowns in your coffee, should you still drink it? :
: something to chew on :
The human body is a fascinating apparatus, particularly the digestive system. It converts the food we eat into nutrients for energy, growth, and cell repair. But it’s a messy, skeevy process, one rarely discussed in polite conversation. Fortunately, I’m not polite and this isn’t conversation, it’s a monologue. There are actually two types of digestion: … Continue reading : something to chew on :
: you can bite me :
What? You look confused. It’s Grilled Cheese Day, dammit. Why aren’t you stuffing your face with warm, gooey cheese wrapped inside a toasty crunch? Look at the picture. No, look away. You’ll drool, short out the keyboar -- aw, crap. Well, grab a towel and wipe that up. Sorry, I should’ve waited until after lunch. There … Continue reading : you can bite me :
: all hail the rice krispies treat :
Sure, the occasion may lack the splendor of Christmas and the social prestige of Halloween, but it’s a heckuva lot snappier than Talk Like A Pirate Day (which is tomorrow, me hearties). That one’s just dopey. Today, is Rice Krispies Treat Day. Why hasn’t it caught on? Where are the Rice Krispies Treat Day cards … Continue reading : all hail the rice krispies treat :
: speaking of frozen :
Yippee, It’s TV Dinner Day! Or was. Last Thursday. The official observance is on September 10th and I missed it because I was too lazy to double-check the date -- I thought it was later in the month. If this was dinner it’d be burned to a crisp. Nevertheless, that won’t stop me from commemorating … Continue reading : speaking of frozen :
: nun’s farts and spotted dick :
Really? On a Sunday? Nun’s farts? I ought to be ashamed of myself, stooping to such childish behavior, but, no, I’m good. Nun’s farts (pets de nonne) and spotted dick (spotted dick) aren’t what you expect. Not even close. They’re desserts. The fancy kind. Well, maybe not the spotted dick so much, but the nun’s … Continue reading : nun’s farts and spotted dick :
: you’re welcome to bite me :
Go ahead, feast your eyes on what is a powerfully tempting sight: the classic grilled cheese sandwich. Or plateful of sunshine, whichever. You see one of those parked in front of you and, hot damn, life is worth living, winter or summer. The crunch, the steamy aroma, the soft, gooey cheese, greasy fingers to lick … Continue reading : you’re welcome to bite me :
the whirly girl 