This one is #25 and you know what? They haven’t gotten much easier. Every Mother’s Day is a reminder, as if I needed one; I’m an orphan. No, it doesn’t come as a shock, but it’s an unwelcome reality. So for half of every May, like clockwork, I disappear into myself. I pull in the … Continue reading : a motherless mother’s day :
Tag: funny
: ideas rain down, too :
Just not good ones and certainly not yesterday. However, instead of being disgusted with the crappy weather, I decided to take full advantage and indulge in unabashed laziness. I didn’t even get dressed. I sat around in boxers eating Pecan Swirls all morning, Oreos all afternoon, Klondike bars all evening. By bedtime, my sweatshirt was … Continue reading : ideas rain down, too :
: the summoning :
Oh, don’t mind me. Just pretend I’m not here and go on about your business. I don’t mind being ignored. No, sir, I'd consider it a kindness and a flipping miracle. Attention gives me the willies, frankly. I’ve been trapped in the harsh, uncomfortable glare of the spotlight my entire life. Not because I’m talented … Continue reading : the summoning :
: dumb jokes not named trump :
We’re in the middle of a very long, very unfunny stretch, so we need a good laugh. That’s the purpose of dumb jokes, you know, to cheer us up. Give us a reason to smile. They’re not supposed to mill around the White House and destroy civilization. To that end, voilà: What do you call … Continue reading : dumb jokes not named trump :
: happy father’s day, mom :
Technically, I have a father. Sperm donor is more suitable, but that term raises questions and requires some explaining, so father it is. My parents, you see, divorced when I was 13 and I barely noticed. My dad hadn't figured very prominently in my day-to-day, because he had other priorities. Important things like golf, work, … Continue reading : happy father’s day, mom :
: the thing about impulsive behavior :
It's hard to resist. Like Mr. Trump, we often have trouble curbing our worst instincts. Unlike Mr. Trump, ours aren’t a threat to civilization. The planet will survive even the most ardent exhibitionists and pyromaniacs among us. But we shouldn't underestimate impulses, they’re a powerful force. Entire industries are devoted to helping us fight urges … Continue reading : the thing about impulsive behavior :
